[nullbytesmatter]

The post struck me the same way as well. In particular, how he mentioned more than once that he was ready to give it an "earnest attempt" this time. As if there were other times he was on his way up but didn't fully commit (I imagine he said the same to his friends/family).

All in all, I wish him the best but I won't help. I think he's fully capable of pulling this off himself and I hope he does.

[captainchris]

It's a bit inappropriate to use third person in a person's presence.

I never said such things to family and friends in recent years. Past help was simply for food before finally giving in to obtain EBT. Once I lost my vehicle, it was easy to qualify for food help. Your speculation is not correct in this case.

I've worked odd jobs in recent years for food money, or for other consumables such as clothing or toiletries. Such work has dried up or become infeasible. I am in a remote area unsheltered. There's one coworking space within biking (or in my current routine, walking) distance.

It's far more difficult than you realize to "pull myself up" with no resources to do so, not even transportation such as a bicycle, as well as while under pressure for my next meal.

If you really must know, I have a hearing condition that prevents me from being able to use any power tools or play music. I gave up performing and recording music a long time ago. I have tried doing labor jobs but am limited on the types of blue collar jobs I can sustain, lest my tinnitus and hyperacusis flare up. It has taken me decades of managing sound exposure in order for my T and H to become manageable.

In my current predicament, I have a backpack with my phone, a hydro flask, phone charger, and personal docs/wallet. I walk everywhere. I have warm clothes stashed many miles where I am safe, from any stores/non-residential areas.

Programming stress affect my T and H but I have little choice but to try again and attempt to find a balance that minimizes stress for a given sustained effort.

Thanks for your well wishes.