[mbubb]

good luck - I really feel for you and know others who have struggled with similar job search frustrations...

I lost a position over a year ago and found myself scrambling for a new role as an older person in tech. I thought of a few things that might help.

In my case I was trying to move into medical tech software infra role in NYC. I needed to find ways of talking to people in the target field in a low pressure way - I got an invite to https://lunchclub.com/ and started having chats with people who worked in tech with a medical focus. I met someone who worked for the CDC and another person who was a nurse who developed a new kind of injection needle, etc

I could ask them lots of questions about their work and get comfort in talking about related topics. It helped in my case as it helped me relax - I am not extroverted and I needed to develop fluidity in this way. I am not recommending lunchclub over any other such service - it is the one I used. I would guess there are more option in this space... In my case I found a job in a nonmedical field but the company is a pretty amazing fit and I feel lucky. I feel like the ability to relax in the interview process really helped.

Another thing I thought about with your post is - consider not applying for junior positions - the ugly language in the response letter you got is telling you that I think. It requires bravery and squelching the 'impostor syndrome' feelings but you are not a junior employee. You have life experience. Look for employers that seem to signal that they will hire based upon your aptitude rather than "x years in such a position".

Another question - are you contacting companies directly? YMMV but I get much better interactions with internal recruiters than head hunters. Try targetting companies even if they don't list exactly the job you are looking for.

Very best of luck