top | item 31964620

(no title)

halefx | 3 years ago

There are plenty of people giving advice here on general life stuff and a lot of it seems pretty good, but I don't know how actionable all of it is for you right away.

I met my wife on OkCupid. I think that OkCupid is probably the best online dating site of the major ones (or at least it was when I used it), but it requires some effort. Assuming they haven't changed too much, I think this would help anyone using it:

1. Write a meaningful profile (you can ask r/okcupid for feedback if you think you need it, but I doubt that you do) and include photos showing different scenarios/poses/activities

2. Answer questions and honestly include their importance to you ( https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-most-important-questions-on-... )

3. "Hide" profiles that do not appeal to you. This removes them from your results and also removes you from their results

4. Be honest with yourself about dealbreakers and use them to "Hide" results regardless of any other traits a profile may have. If you know that you want children, don't even respond to (or look at) a profile that says they don't. If you know that you only want to raise kids with a nonsmoker, filter out smokers, etc. In my experience, political affiliation is one metric that can be ignore here. People who are compatible with you will be obvious from other questions that are more important. -ists and -isms are found in all political parties.

5. Prioritize profiles/people (they aren't "people" until you meet them) who have physical traits that you find subjectively attractive. If you prefer redheads, prioritize those profiles. If you prefer short men, prioritize those. If you've been on 120 dates, you should be able to come up with something here.

6. Meet quickly, don't spend days/weeks messaging someone before meeting. First date should only ever be beverages. Second date can be a simple activity, but it needs to still be focused on talking.

Good luck

discuss

order

vimy|3 years ago

Okcupid turned into a Tinder clone. A really inferior one.

free-malloc|3 years ago

As someone who met my wife on OKC, this is sad. They valued user engagement over user engagement.

halefx|3 years ago

That is very sad if so. Hopefully some of my experience is still helpful for her regardless