[markdjacobsen]

I have been successful by most standards, with a litany of professional and educational achievements, a wonderful wife, three beautiful kids, and a life of exciting new experiences. But age 35 was a crucible year in which I presided over the scorching failure of a startup, struggled mightily in my PhD program, and reluctantly accepted that I no longer believed in the religious faith that had shaped my life. That change eventually cost me my marriage. It felt the universe took a sledgehammer to my life.

That year (7 years ago now) marks a "before" and "after" point in my life. It changed all my priorities. I'm much more relational now, much more focused on the present, and search for and find joy in simple, quiet, beautiful things. I still work hard but am far less attached to professional success. The faith change led me to abandon an identity that tormented me with cognitive dissonance, was rooted in social expectations, and never worked well for me; constructing a new, more authentic identity has not been easy but it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

In many ways, my journey has been a fairly conventional "midlife passage" (my preferred term over "midlife crisis"). I'm grateful for the experience, and thankful it came early enough that I could renew my life while still relatively young.

I wrote a book about my experience, in case it's helpful to anyone else: https://www.amazon.com/Eating-Glass-Journey-Through-Failure-...