[indiv0]

I'm having trouble parsing what you wrote. You say that you don't need to have unquestionable authority to use this style of language and then proceed to give an example of an unquestionable authority using this style of language.

[guhidalg]

I think I understood the point, and I'll give another example: your coworker (let's say you both report to the same boss) doesn't like the way you're talking to them and tells you "Hey indiv0, we don't say X here... we just don't say X here".

If you choose to question the statement, you could cynically assume that the other person is going to use anything you say as evidence that you're not professional/are harassing them/make them feel uncomfortable against you. Better to just shut up rather than say something damming.

I've been in a situation like this, and being on the receiving end of the "we don't do that here" is received as "shut up, do what I say, and don't question me".

[tinalumfoil]

I updated it a bit. Maybe it was a bad example, but what I'm saying is having the option of arresting someone or giving them a fine isn't unquestionable authority -- if you're just mouthing off there's a limit to what the police can (legally) do to you.

Regardless, my point is in an average job there's a lot of people that don't have direct authority over you but have the power to make your life really unpleasant. A more senior coworker probably can't get you fired, but they may well be involved in important decisions around you.

[mcguire]

It hardly needs to be someone who can "make your life really unpleasant". There's no implied threat.

If I were told "We don't do that here" at a new job, I would learn that I stepped across a line and likely a generally agreed-upon line, and that if I continue to do so, I will be causing problems for myself. And I mean "causing problems for myself" in the same way that any other behavioral quirk causes problems, from chewing with your mouth open to yelling at someone for not putting paper in the printer.

But then, I'm also not someone who feels the urge to debate what line was crossed, whether or not my intentions mattered when I crossed the line, the precise location of the line and any others that I might cross in the future, or whatever it is that them as cause this particular issue want out of the conversation.