[maltyr]

This is pretty much my take on it as well.

Once you hit adulthood, most able-bodied, able-minded people are expected to be "contributing members of society". But that definition is pretty nebulous - it doesn't have to be society's definition - whatever you set to be your own expectations for success. If you repeatedly fail to meet those standards you set for yourself, it can cause you to turn this feeling of pain and frustration from failure inwards, towards yourself.

At some point, you simply withdraw entirely, because you are afraid of feeling the pain of failure that you trained yourself to associate with attempting to meet your goals.

This is often compounded by well-meaning people trying to shame you into doing something: "You can't live like this! You HAVE to get a job!" - sort of "support" from family members or friends.

Or, they might throw blame: "Why don't you work harder? Stop wasting your time doing nothing!"

I think this may be a significant factor on why this symptom appears much more common in Japan, a mono-cultural society with very high expectations to conform. Also perhaps why it's growing overall, as the general prospects for younger people seem to be worse than the previous generation across most developed countries.

However, I don't think you can treat the chemistry to "fix" social withdrawal. I believe it's linked to other mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Treating those issues, primarily through therapy, is required first, before working on fixing social withdrawal, which at that point should be straightforward.

[revolvingocelot]

>I don't think you can treat the chemistry to "fix" social withdrawal

Oh, I'll bet you a fat R&D contract and a promised economic boom that you can. And you probably "can", for a given value of ""fix"". It'll just be another neoliberal pressure-washer pointed at the weathered rock face of our collective humanity. See, it's still just fine!

[HPsquared]

I think you hit the nail on the head mentioning monoculture. If there's only one way to be successful and accepted, anyone who doesn't fit the mold simply drops out. In a more varied society there are more alternative "acceptable" paths available to those people who didn't fit the mold for the primary path.

[nradov]

You're not wrong, but some fraction of the hikikomori could also be treated effectively through tough love. Their behavior is being enabled by parents who allow them to live at home, set low expectations, and fail to enforce consequences. If parents kick them out then they'll be forced to sink or swim. This may seem harsh, but those parents will die eventually and the hikikomori will eventually have to fend for themselves no matter what. Better to learn how to live in society sooner than later.

[yata69420]

> If parents kick them out then they'll be forced to sink or swim.

If you've ever lived in or near a US city, the "sink" outcome is actually quite common.

> Better to learn how to live in society sooner than later.

Your approach converts a family struggle into a community problem.

I don't see why society would encourage families that can support hikikomori for some number of years to offload all of them onto society immediately, even if some would successfully "swim".

[livueta]

You're not wrong about parental enablers, but those without that kind of support basically just end up as freeters. Cost of living is surprisingly low for a first-world country if you've got low standards, so life can be sustained by not many hours of a robotic low-wage job. The reality of sonkeigo/kenjougo phrasebook shit means that there's not much risk of authentic human interaction even in a public-facing role, so I think you'd be surprised at how many people who are technically employed resemble the classic hikkiNEET pathologies. I'd call it more of a worldview than a specific state strictly defined by employment status.

[maltyr]

I rarely use absolutes, but I don't think "tough love" is the solution to anything, if your goal is to truly help the person you are applying "tough love" to.

As long as there's a thread of trust between the caregiver and the shut-in, you have access/influence with them, and they can be rehabilitated, under the right circumstances.

A safer option might be to completely change their environment, but stay supportive, in order to break any entrained behavior connected to being a shut-in. Might be difficult to achieve this in Japan, though.

If you delete that remaining thread of trust by applying "tough love," they will be forced to face the trauma that they could not before, but without any support.

Perhaps some small fraction might "survive" that ordeal, but it's not exactly setting them up for long-term success.

I do think many parents have no idea how to handle a dependent in that situation. The worst case scenario is when parents have also "given up" on their child ever recovering/improving - those situations need intervention from an outside party.

EDIT: I'd define "tough love" as actions done with the intent of "helping" someone, but with wanton disregard to that someone's health.

[kitsunesoba]

It may just be my own misperception, but the "tough love" approach comes too close to the "pull oneself up by their own bootstraps" for personal comfort. It can work, but it doesn't often enough that I would strongly hesitate to propose it as a solution.

Ultimately, I don't think that any set of short-term actions alone can truly solve this. Macro-scale societal changes need to be in place or at minimum in progress before micro-scale efforts with individuals to make sense. Cure the disease, not the symptom.

[tacocataco]

The beatings will continue until morale improves.