top | item 33092143

(no title)

vector_rotcev | 3 years ago

TL;DR: yes.

Lots of other good information from others here, especially brundolf.

Other things to consider:

You can 'date around' at the beginning to speed up finding someone suitable - since getting to know a therapist takes a while and you might need to try two or three (or more) you should consider seeing several concurrently to begin with, Which might also make it easier for you to compare which suits you best.

Keep it to yourself - Not that you shouldn't share things with your partner or anyone who you want to, but if You're expecting to give reports on what's going on with your therapist to someone else afterwards, It's only ever going to be performative and never really about you if it's private - your own little opaque box of external-consequenceless space and time - then it can only be about you.

They are your consultant - framing matters and, given stereotypes and received perspectives, it can be quite easy to view it as some variation of submission to somebody else or punishment for failure because you're incapable - A better way to view it is that you've got this engine you that isn't working quite how you want it to and you've gone to a specialist consultant who you want to help you analyse and understand what's going on, the context is happening in, how it can be adjusted and then to help you actually adjust it - because it's you that's going to have to adjust it. They can't actually do anything or just tell you a magic secret perspective that will somehow fix it. You have to go and do things.

Look them up - and the different types of therapy they offer - there are lots, and humans have been helping each other figure out how to be OK for tens of thousands of years - all sorts exist, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_analytic_therapy

If you don't change, you won't change - one way or another, one thing or another, something has to change in order for your situation to change, maybe a lot of things. People variously describe this as 'difficult' or 'painful' or something similar. You'll learn things about yourself and the way you work that change decisions you make, will make, and would have changed decisions you made in the past if you knew at the time - this means you'll not only feel regret, but also feel resistance to change because of what that means you have to accept - the Sunk Cost Fallacy might not be 100% applicable in considerations like this, but it's a useful heuristic to keep in mind.

You will change - and that means not only for yourself, but also for others around you. Don't stay the same for them (expecting anyone else to not grow or change in order to satisfy you probably isn't in your idea of 'good') Accept that, and make peace with your not just your stress and anxiety lessening/going away being the only consequences.

Changing how you feel about progress, and how you drive yourself, and how you hold onto goals (or whatever you're studying and working for) will probably at some point feel like giving up on them or accepting that you're lesser or your goals won't be reached and you need to moderate them - however you alter your goals or how you feel about your goals, you should know that it's entirely possible to end up way more productive in terms of actual output afterwards.

Final note: it'll be a weird experience - enjoy observing it happening to you and the curiosity of it.

discuss

order

No comments yet.