Long abstinence is the key. I have been able to re-frame my relationship with alcohol successfully---but this is often not the case for long time habitual users. I cut out alcohol, but substituted in non-alcoholic beer (they are VERY good now) and high CBD / low THC cannabis. I felt nearly no "high", but found that it hit the spot that the first beer would. Eventually once the habit was broken I kept drinking the near-beer and stopped the cannabis except for occasionally, and it worked!
This may not be an option for you, but it worked for me.
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