[coaksford]

I love exercises like this because it sometimes forces me to reformulate ideas I've had abstractly until I'm happy with them.

1. Don't assign to categories that which can be described through traits. Do not put things into "buckets" when it is possible to describe them by a collection of properties that they can have to varying magnitudes. The real world is a messy place, far too messy for buckets, and the more you can do this, the more flexible your mindset will be for what it throws your way.

2. All judgements are based on values, but others' judgements only matter to the extent (read "extent" as one of the varying-magnitude properties above) that they share your own values. You can't and won't please everyone, don't accept their attempts to shame or guilt you when you're living your values, their values are not more correct than yours.

3. Imagine a better version of yourself. More reasonable, more empathetic, more charismatic, more articulate, more expressive, a better negotiator, less impulsive, less abrasive, less arrogant, less cruel, etc. You choose what the better you is like according to your values, but these are some of mine. Strive to be this version of yourself whenever you can. Be on the lookout for cases where you are less successful than you expected, see where a better you could have succeeded, and take it as a lesson that moves you toward being that better person. And definitely don't fall for letting "be yourself" be an excuse to not be your better self.

4. Hold all knowledge as tentative. The difference between harmful dogmas and "absolute" knowledge is one that your subjective experience of that "knowledge" cannot differentiate. Before I realized this, I was extremely self-limiting and occasionally self-sabotaging.