[awavering]

I'm pretty far from your situation (no dependents, mid-career) but did leave my job 9 months ago to take a sabbatical for similar reasons.

I sympathize with your post-LOA feelings; going right back into the same environment is hard.

"Giving myself that gift … is a level of generosity that almost feels unimaginable." Well said and agreed; it can be emotionally challenging to name and act on doing good things for ourselves, particularly if supporting others is part of our life and identity.

The pros list is pretty significant in my opinion; it's a great strength to enter a sabbatical with a clear idea of how you want to use that time.

Not wanting to go back ever seems like a positive outcome :P

Could you get a more specific measure on how far back a break would set retirement? Are you in a position where you could retire now - sub chunky - and still survive?

When I got to the point where my barriers to leaving were mostly psychological, I ran through the following exercises to build the self-confidence I needed to put in my notice.

1. Writing down all the things that I was unhappy with in my current position, just to get them down on paper and make them more tangible.

2. Writing down all the things I was excited for, so that I could change my mindset from "I hate my job and should have quit a year ago" to "I'm excited to have the time and space to do the things I want to".

3. Writing down all the things I had achieved at work in a way that made it feel like a complete project that I could feel good leaving.

4. Reviewed the non-monetary needs my job fulfilled (social network, work impact, etc.) and sketched out how I would meet those needs during my break.

5. Gave myself a semi-artificial deadline of leaving around my 10 year anniversary, for no reason other than it was a nice round number.

Let me know if this is helpful!