[automatom]

I see reading self-improvement books in a similar way that an athlete or bodybuilder would approach to lifting weights, a means to an end. My early twenties I was all about it, the 4-hour work week, Thinking Fast & Slow (although this isn't a self-help, it's just a great analysis from two brilliant behavioral economists), all that jazz.

That being said, the voice in the back of your mind has some merit. The "self-help" industry is entirely based on this preface that people aren't happy with themselves, they are selling you ideas that solved their problems, so why not yours? It's easy to get stuck in this cycle of "self-improvement" where you're hyper-focused on being your better self and you miss out on enjoying life.

For me, my anxiety and emotional state improved when I realized I got a lot of joy and contentment from the _process_ of learning new things, and trying to gauge my improvement always meant comparing myself to others.

Read these books if they help you, but realize there is some survivorship bias with how those authors achieved their success or even got their book published. Enjoy the ride, keep working hard but don't feel like it's the end of the world if you aren't going as fast as you think you should be.

[SeanAnderson]

Thanks for this response. Yeah, agree on TF&S, just kinda lumped it in there since it's about understanding yourself for better results (to me)

Do you have insights on how you discovered joy/contentment in the process of learning new things? From a different perspective, it seems clear that the reward for effort isn't realized during the process. Unwrapping a chocolate bar is effort necessary to realize a reward of chocolate. It's clearly possible to feel good while unwrapping the chocolate in anticipation of the reward, but it seems challenging to enjoy the process of unwrapping the chocolate bar with the belief no reward is forthcoming.

[automatom]

Just seeing this, I'm new to HN so pardon me for missing your response.

>Do you have insights on how you discovered joy/contentment in the process of learning new things?

It took time. In fact "enjoying the ride" is something I still have to remind myself of. Really it was reflecting back on times where I was most happy, whether in college or in my early career. There were also times where I wasn't happy with my job or my given state in life, but I spent a lot of my time trying to learn skills so I could earn more money or get a promotion/better job. This was a grind.

The pandemic made me do a lot of self reflection, I saw a counselor, read a lot of existentialist philosophy (I would not suggest doing this if you're depressed), and pursued hobbies that I couldn't necessarily monetize. Piano lessons, playing chess, and writing short stories without the intention of publishing are a few examples. Playing instruments and games were activities that I did more often in college/high school, and I got so swept up in my career and investments that I seemingly lost a lot of joy in my life. Revisiting these passions from my past, I have no end goal with these other than to get better at them, because the better I get at them the more enjoyable it becomes.

Keep in mind this is my experience and what worked for me. Now knowing that I enjoy learning and improving even more than the outcome itself, it makes for learning professional skills more enjoyable as well. I will still occasionally crack open a self-help book, but I try to read them through the perspective that the insight the author provides is specific to their perception of reality and experiences, but sometimes it's nice to find anecdotes that we can apply to our own life.

To summarize, I stopped trying to discover how to be happy and just focused on making time to do things that I enjoyed, regardless of my expectations of myself or that time spent will have on my productivity or success.