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I quit my programmer job to become a chicken

509 points| satvikpendem | 3 years ago |sebastiancarlos.medium.com

118 comments

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[+] charles_f|3 years ago|reply
Learning how to speak chicken is not becoming a chicken. That's a frequent misconception that borders cultural appropriation. Chickens aren't just about a few bock-bock and cockle-doodle-doos. They have a rich set of physical expressions as well (flap flaps, head kicks, grating the soil, etc) and a vibrant culture that is transmitted between generations. Their philosophy on death and their capacity to always see life on the sunny-side is both unique and deep, the fruit of seeing their children being picked for food on a daily basis. This should be celebrated. The article completely missed the point on that aspect.

Pretending you became a chicken because you're now performing a few chicken-like sounds is plain wrong, an insult to the poultry community.

[+] officialchicken|3 years ago|reply
You are absolutely correct about the nuance, but I disagree with this 'no true chickenman' argument. We all started somewhere below expert-level.
[+] saghm|3 years ago|reply
On the other hand, learning to talk like a duck and walk like a duck does quality a programmer to identify as a duck, provided they work in Python.
[+] snoot|3 years ago|reply
Trigger Warning: may elicit images of graphic violence.

Although I agree with your general sentiment, I feel your comment should have been prefixed with a trigger warning. Use of the term ‘sunny-side’ is problematic and insensitive, particularly when used to describe children of chickens.

[+] inglor_cz|3 years ago|reply
On the other hand, the first programmer identifying as a chicken occupies a truly unique niche in the DIE ecosystem ...

Of course, within mere weeks, more and more are going to start flocking to interviews.

[+] dgfitz|3 years ago|reply
“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken” - Chuck
[+] cm2187|3 years ago|reply
Or to quote Wellington (accused of being irish), being born in a stable doesn’t make you a horse.
[+] nephanth|3 years ago|reply
Now you are just bickering. Please show more respect for op and their accomplishments

They didn't do all that to be roasted on the internet

[+] iquerno|3 years ago|reply
This happens all too often and furthermore is a problem beyond the chicken realm. Attention to detail is an integral part of human life and it is disgusting to see mere humans pretend to comprehend the intricacies of escaping beyond their mortal self, just for internet points.
[+] 8note|3 years ago|reply
> life on the sunny side

Yeesh

[+] satvikpendem|3 years ago|reply
I wonder if this is a parody of all those comments/articles about quitting programming to go into carpentry, or woodworking, or farming, etc.

I no longer build software - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24541964

Why software engineers like woodworking - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31687378

Death of a Programmer, Life of a Farmer - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9492110

---

The author also has some other hilarious articles:

- How to get over your Impostor Syndrome and become a Professional Fraudster

- Programmers, Please Stop Referring to your Significant Others as "Sugar Babies," You are Not That Rich (Also, They are Not That Hot)

- How to Reassert Dominance in the Zoom Era as a Tech Bro

- Book Review: 95 JavaScript Theses - I’ve been reading a lot of JavaScript books lately, and I have to say that "95 JavaScript Theses" is the best thing since the Protestant reformation.

[+] mauvehaus|3 years ago|reply
As both the guilty party behind "I no longer build software" and the keeper of some chickens, I'd just like to suggest that anyone who wants to get out of software strongly consider woodworking over becoming a chicken.

I still have all ten fingers.

For comparison, we have acquired fifteen chickens over the last two and a half years and now have five. We lost two to a bear that broke into the coop[0], turned an aggressive rooster into soup, and the rest to foxes. They mostly stay cooped up lately unless we're around :-/

EDITED TO ADD:

Oh yeah, I really do still write code from time to time!

https://github.com/longwalkwoodworking

[0] The coop now has an electric fence around it like some kind of cock-a-doodle-gulag.

[+] jl6|3 years ago|reply
Just another wage-slave burnt out programmer casting off the yolk of bondage.
[+] teraflop|3 years ago|reply
For those who would like a slightly more technical overview of this subject, I can recommend this research paper: https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
[+] yojo|3 years ago|reply
It looks like TFA uses some diagrams from that pdf without attribution. I get that we’re firmly in the realm of absurdity, but it still feels… cheep
[+] piperswe|3 years ago|reply
I forgot about chicken.pdf... it's great to print to a buddy's networked printer as a prank
[+] nativecoinc|3 years ago|reply
I’m happy that the author was able to become a chicken. I am! However, I think he is a bit brazen with regards to this attitude of his:

> Bwok bwok bwok, puk puk pukaaak! Cluckity cluck cluck, puk puk pukaaak! Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak!

I know many engineers who would love to become chickens. But they also have responsibilities. They can’t just drop everything and commit to the faunamorphosis. Not to mention that faunamorphosis costs so much that pretty much only FAANG salaried folks can go through with their chicken dream -- and especially now in this economy.

[+] inglor_cz|3 years ago|reply
On a similar note.

"It's not a question of wanting to be a mouse — it just sort of happens to you... All of a sudden you realize… that's what you want to be."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mouse_Problem

Of course, becoming a mouse is ambiguous in the programming world. If you want to become a mouse, please specify the correct namespace first.

Becoming a chicken is much easier. It just autoloads without any extra specification.

[+] schappim|3 years ago|reply
This c̶l̶i̶c̶k̶chickbait article fails to answer the question on why the programmer crossed the road to become a chicken, and whether they went from programmer → egg → chicken, or just programmer → chicken.
[+] deathanatos|3 years ago|reply
Your comment had me wondering how you did the strikethrough, since HN doesn't support it. U+0336 "Combining Long Stroke Overlay", clever.

I really did not expect to learn anything here, of all places.

[+] 411111111111111|3 years ago|reply
I think he addressed it right in this excerpt!

> Cluckity cluck Cluck-cluck-cluck Bwak pukaaak Bwak Cluck. Cluck-a-buh-gawk Bwak Waaak Bok Waaak Cluck-cluck-cluck. Cluckity Cock-a-doodle-doo!

[+] layer8|3 years ago|reply
How many roads must a programmer cross down before you can call them a chicken?
[+] kampsduac|3 years ago|reply
I was programming at home for my job last week and heard my free reigning chickens make a lot of noise.

Went outside and saw a coyote with one of them in it's mouth.

I chased it away. I'm sick of being in front of a screen all day, but grateful I don't have to worry about being killed by wild animals on a daily basis.

[+] snoot|3 years ago|reply
Do chickens actually worry about this?
[+] naet|3 years ago|reply
I was just feeling down as I completed a 3 hour code screen where I was supposed to be recording my screen the whole time I worked, but somehow I botched it and don't have any recording to show. Awkward and my own fault...

Those chicken diagrams got a legitimate smile and chuckle out of me though. Thanks for the day brightener!!

Reminded me a bit of this "Microservices" youtube sketch which also includes a surreal architecture diagram (and is very funny):

https://youtu.be/y8OnoxKotPQ

[+] codingdave|3 years ago|reply
In all seriousness, part of me wants to replace all coding questions in future interviews with the code from this article. It isn't hard to follow, it just looks absurd. So if people can follow it, they can code -- No more FizzBuzz - just CluckCluckity.
[+] orhmeh09|3 years ago|reply
This is the first article I’ve clicked before going right to comments in months
[+] lewq|3 years ago|reply
This is the kind of high quality technical content I come here for.
[+] eloathing|3 years ago|reply
Just a reminder that classic joke:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To get to the other side!"

Is not just a stupid anti-joke about crossing the road, it is a dark joke about a chicken going to the other side of life (death).

[+] lloydatkinson|3 years ago|reply
This feels like my brain after a week of agile/scrum/bullshit meetings and processes that get in the way of creating software. Takes the weekend to go return to normal.
[+] telman17|3 years ago|reply
What the cluck? At first I thought this would be the “chicken printer” story I’ve read before but was pleasantly surprised! Peep on clucking on!
[+] xrd|3 years ago|reply
Is this because AI has destroyed all the software jobs? Is it really more lucrative to become a factory farmed chicken these days? I'm worried.
[+] rigmarole|3 years ago|reply
It’s difficult to tell from the photo, but I suspect this developer still had enough privilege to elect a more free-range lifestyle.