top | item 33810175

(no title)

> assume they have no self-discipline

I can't say that every skinny person has a healthy relationship with food, but I can say that almost every overweight person does have an unhealthy relationship with food. Everyone is allowed to make their own choices, but if I smell liquor on your breath every morning, I'm going to assume you don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Same goes for food.

> I get the same sort of "helpful" suggestions

If someone is suffering from a cold and I tell them to "instead of going to work you could try taking the day off to sleep, it should help fight the cold virus", that's objectively true. If someone is suffering from depression and I tell them "try incorporating some exercise in your daily routing, it should help your mental and physical health", that's objectively true.

It feels like there's this viewpoint among many depressed folks where they want unconditional support from their friends/family, but only want the communication to go one way. It's incredibly difficult to support someone who is struggling with depression. If they offer suggestions, it's their way of trying to help because there's fuck all they can do outside of that.

discuss

imknewhere|3 years ago

The point is, I'm already doing all those things. I exercise. I eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. I have a therapist. I don't meditate, but I do take long walks and hikes in nature, which to me is kindof meditating?

Fat people, yeah "have you tried exercising? have you tried counting calories?" FFS of course they have. They weren't born yesterday. They're aware of their weight 100% of every waking moment of the day.

Don't give people advice unless they ask for it. Plain and simple.

edit: Regarding the first paragraph, what I mean to say is: When I discuss depression or anxiety with someone, and they come back with a bunch of "helpful" suggestions, in my mind the conversation sortof flips to where I have to justify myself. I have to explain or prove to them all the things I'm doing. It also sets up a conversation in my mind: "Am I doing enough? Should I be exercising more? Maybe I should take up yoga as well?" I don't want to justify my emotional state to someone. Especially to someone who, no offense to you, (but kindof?) does not know what the fuck they are talking about.