[Victerius]

I wish society in general worked like this: less formality, more informality, more relationships.....

.... I could move to a small town. I've always lived in a large metropolis and, to be frank, I'm tired of it. I can't move to Monaco, or make the global population decrease by 90%, but I could move to a smaller community in my state. I think this is what I need to start building more relationships with other people.

[colechristensen]

Have to actually experienced this? What you want is for people to be familiar and nice, what you actually get is the banker telling everybody your account balance, the whole town talking about that time you showed up to church hungover, and the viciousness of national politics (or mean high school girls) applied to every aspect of your life.

Don’t wish for universal non anonymity unless you really know what it’s like, especially if you’re not willing to join the local moral majority.

[lliamander]

> What you want is for people to be familiar and nice, what you actually get...

Is actually people being nice (for the most part) in my experience. The failure modes you describe are a possibility, but far from a certainty.

People generally community and a sense of belonging, and I would wager are typically happier with it than without.

[ricardobayes]

There are some nuances between living in a metropolis and living in a 500 population mining town.

[belfalas]

It's attractive and in many ways better, but never forget: the dark side is insularity and 'no outsiders.' When you don't have the relationships or are actively excluded by virtue of being from a lower social class...modernism ain't so bad.

[beambot]

It's all fun & games until you piss off the gatekeeper and now you're forbidden from traveling or pursuing gainful employment. Double-plus bad if they obtain extradition powers and can effectively confine you to poverty status.

[lliamander]

I would rather my tyrants be smaller, not larger.

Any society can leave you under the boot of some person (or impersonal system).

[CalRobert]

When you move to said small town and discover that being part of the in group depends on not straying from norms, going to the same church as everyone else, etc. you start to second guess it.

[Victerius]

I don't mind having to conform to some norms. I would even go so far as to argue that close-knit communities are impossible to maintain over long time horizons without these gatekeeping attitudes and insider values that outsiders must conform to.

[frozenport]

Sounds like India, can't get shit done without knowing somebody