[decentrality]

Yes. Every story and background will vary, but to the question: absolutely, yes.

People seem to be advocating for various forms of therapy, and that can be fine, but I believe you have a genuine mid-life crisis going, and ought to ride that like a wave. You have a lot of potential it seems like, but lack really great guides and collaborators on shared goals.

I am aware of independent coaching that addresses everything you said, and there are plenty of people who can relate and advise in your circumstance. Someone needs to argue with you long enough for you to see that your outlook is not right or wrong, but ineffectual, inferior to your actual standard of living. That is what is peeking through here: a higher standard that will make or break you.

Your outlook is dark but the other side from where you are does make this crisis worth it. You seem at the edge of understanding there is something else, not just something more. From there, all your dilemmas are solvable smoothly in due course. It is similar to the entry of a higher math into a previously inscrutable problem domain. You just need that higher math, to wield it expertly and advance its edge, and for it to click into your way of seeing all situations and your life overall.