[gringoDan]

I'd examine some of the assumptions underlying your post. Specifically, it seems like you want to find meaning in your work and to feel "at home in your job".

The median reader of Hacker News is in a privileged position to be thinking about these things. In an ideal world, we'd all find fulfillment in our work. But for 90%+ of the world, a job is just a way to put food on the table for your family. Mark Manson is "living his dream job" and "still hates about 30% of it". That's just life. [1]

So, here are some questions to ask:

1. What are your values?

2. Related: What is important about work for you? Is it the compensation? Working for a mission you believe in? Solving challenging problems? Being in an environment where you can learn every day?

3. Do you need to find meaning in your work? Or can you create meaning in other areas of your life?

Once you figure out the misalignment here you either:

a) make peace with what you truly value and want from a job, rather than what you assume you're meant to want or

b) correct the misalignment by finding a new position that reflects your values.

[1] https://markmanson.net/screw-finding-your-passion

[rakejake]

I think the problem is that anytime you try to find meaning in a job, or look to do your best, there is a very chance that your plans will be spoiled by someone who "just does his job". That attitude typically leads to blame games and people shirking responsibility. After all, if it is just a job and you want to do only what is necessary and go back home, what is the incentive to take one for the team, or collaborate and help out in a trying situation?

This sort of situation rarely happens if everyone in the team is on the same page and has each other's backs. But in today's age of job-hopping every N-years/months for x% increase in pay, there is zero incentive to do anything of that sort.

[maligree]

Thank you!

Something I realized when reading your response is that I winced a tiny bit when you mentioned "finding meaning in your work" - as if that was something I did not believe could be achieved.

I think in my mind it's more about going to work and doing things are not... so made-up. I find this extremely hard to communicate. This may be due to me being too far removed from the actual impact whatever we deliver may have. Or as other posters have pointed out, lack of confidence in the general mission.

Or maybe I haven't yet figured out the real reason and this is just something my brain has made up.

Again, thanks for your response.