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The strangest computer manual ever written

422 points| rkuykendall-com | 3 years ago |ironicsans.substack.com

109 comments

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[+] Daub|3 years ago|reply
For another example of a manual that employs humor, check out the Tigerfibel. This is the users manual for the Tiger tank, and is easily one of the most effectively designed books ever. As well as humor, it employs comic book style drawings next to photos, poetry, analogy and even a bit of nudity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tigerfibel

https://archive.org/details/Der-Generalinspekteur-der-Panzer...

[+] nosianu|3 years ago|reply
There are lots of great little training films from the past. In WWII especially they had to bring in a lot of people with little experience with the sophisticated new technologies that were often only developed during the war. Search Youtube for phrases like "world war II training films".

Some examples:

https://youtu.be/gwf5mAlI7Ug - (Mechanical Computers) U.S. NAVY BASIC MECHANISMS OF FIRE CONTROL COMPUTERS MECHANICAL COMPUTER INSTRUCTIONAL

https://youtu.be/s1i-dnAH9Y4 - (Mechanical Computers) Basic Mechanisms In Fire Control Computers

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9cQ2Ddo6YCwNcDh15h2I... - Mechanical Computers (navy series)

https://youtu.be/yYAw79386WI - Around The Corner - How Differential Steering Works (1937)

https://youtu.be/ezRP1h6x2GE - Vintage training film - Manhandling - 1962

https://youtu.be/-34vk-rahPk - BODY SEARCH | Spy Training Film (Vintage, ca. 1942-1945)

https://youtu.be/acGXBJv6AT4 - Vacuum Tubes 1943 Training Film (The TRIODE) Signal Corps Army Air Force Radio

https://youtu.be/0OmOQs0ziSU - 16 Inch Gun Training Film (1955)

[+] fsloth|3 years ago|reply
I would have never expected a tank training manual to have so many naked breasts. Otoh given the audience at the time were young men in their prime this method of stimulating the reader is kind of obvious.
[+] neilv|3 years ago|reply
In the 1980s, there were a lot of microcomputer books heavy on cartoons and jokes and gentle introduction. As an adult, I've learned there was also (what seems like) a large intersection with counterculture, hippies, etc.

Another interesting thing was how unpolished and DIY some of the documentation. For example, I got a vintage (circa Apple II?) Anadex dot matrix printer at a yard sale, and the manual included instructions for how to select the kind of serial interface (between, e.g., RS232 and closed-loop): by cutting a PCB trace inside. Not even a DIP switch, but they were fine telling customers it was OK to start permanently mangling a circuitboard to get it to work with their computer.

Edit: This might've been the one: https://www.ebay.com/itm/143078871954

[+] don-code|3 years ago|reply
The North American owner's manual for the BMW E30, which being an 80s car would have been contemporary with the Franklin Ace, has a similar humorous admonition:

> Caution: Although the ABS is very effective, always remember that braking capability is limited by tire traction. Always adjust your driving speed according to the road and traffic conditions. Do not let the extra safety afforded by the ABS tempt you taking extra risk. The ABS cannot overcome the laws of physics.

[+] walrus01|3 years ago|reply
Watching Seattle people who own "4WD" cars/small SUVs without winter tires slide down hills is a good reminder that 4WD does not mean four wheel stop.
[+] ASalazarMX|3 years ago|reply
> The ABS cannot overcome the laws of physics.

Is this the cute part? My car's manual from 2015 has practically the same wording, and it looks more like a fact than a joke or reference.

[+] bmitc|3 years ago|reply
As general commentary, I don't mind a bit of humor and personality in manuals, but I do mind when manuals become overly cute so as to start obfuscating or taking away from the concepts. A manual is there for me to learn how to do something, and it shouldn't be an opportunity for the author to force their creative writing on users.
[+] TeMPOraL|3 years ago|reply
That's you, today. What about back then?

Those early ACEs and the Apple's lawsuit were before my time, but then I live in a former USSR satellite state, so we were 10-15 years behind, tech-wise. Growing up in the 90s, I've seen plenty of similar humor and illustrations in various computer books, and I believe the reason for them was the same as in the US in the 80s: personal computers were new.

Computers were a completely new category of appliance, never seen before, alien. Most people in the market for them were first-time buyers, who didn't know anything about these machines, or what to do with them - at best, maybe they had a friend at local university or in some office that worked with them. Those people (or, perhaps in most cases, their kids) had to learn not just the operating basics (where the power button is, where you plug peripherals in), but completely new abstractions and conceptual frameworks - files and folders, data vs. code, CLI interfaces, later GUI interfaces. Clicking. Double clicking. It was overwhelming, and whether learning was worth it wasn't obvious.

Thus, all these cutesy drawings, all that humor and personality and conversational tone, served a critical function: to defuse the apprehension people had. To make the reader feel safe. "Sure, the computer seems like a complicated beast, but it's more of a friendly, if a little silly, pet you'll want to befriend. Yes, it's often frustrating, we feel that too. But look, now you know how to use it, and nothing broke. Wasn't that hard, was it?".

The generation of my parents needed that. My generation grew up exploring them on our own. The next generation was born to a world in which computers were ubiquitous, and learned from osmosis. So the manuals could go back to their usual, boring, utilitarian style we all love when we're not deadly afraid of the once-in-a-lifetime conceptual framework shift.

[+] veltas|3 years ago|reply
There has always been a tendency of authors to inject a lot of themselves into technical content, which is charming to some and anathema to others. And I would guess in the 80's people felt subversive and "not square" writing like this, too. There's a lot of it.

Starting FORTH is like this, and I love that book, but I can see how it would have irritated a lot of people from the era it was written in.

[+] nigamanth|3 years ago|reply
They would've thought that the main customer was losing interest in the manual, but what they don't realize is that the people who are reading the manual require knowledge - not humor or useless information.
[+] markus_zhang|3 years ago|reply
It must be fun (and also profitable) to design a microcomputer back in the 80s. You can feel the love poured into even a copycat product. The early gaming consoles too I guess. Nowadays only a few companies can afford that pleasure. I wish modern 8/16-bit machines could bring back the homebrew glory but apparently they are still quite niche.

I'm going to add that I don't think Rpi is a good substitution for 8/16 bit machines. It's difficult to go to the bottom of things (except for Pico) and when you do go to the bottom it is too complicated to wrap your head around it. 8/16-bit machines such as NES/Apple/SNES/8086 are easier to "digest". I read on HN that some good console programmers can map the whole memory into his brain.

Resource constraint is really a boon, not a curse.

[+] dekhn|3 years ago|reply
You can have all sorts of fun with an ESP32 or Teensy. They're cheap 32 bit microcontrollers with very high clock speeds and can emulate an 8 bit microprocessor but also have a nice SDK and run a real OS (FreeRTOS). Also https://mega65.org/
[+] zabzonk|3 years ago|reply
flicking through the article i saw mention of the "reset" button on the keyboard - this was my least favourite feature of the 8-bit computers such as the apple ][ and the bbc micro - one slip of your finger often meant lost work. actually having a reset button was a good thing - just don't put it on the keyboard.
[+] tkb|3 years ago|reply
The BBC Microcomputer had an "Escape" key and a potentially misleadingly named "Break" key - but "Break" was actually more like a reset key (with CTRL-Break being a "harder" reset and SHIFT-Break prompting the computer to boot off a floppy disk).

But one nice feature was that if you were simply programming in BASIC and immediately typed OLD after hitting "Break", you had a chance of recovering your program if you weren't unlucky.

And the other feature which this comment reminded me of - at least some models of the BBC Micro had a hardware lock on the "Break" key, so with a small screwdriver you could turn a little piece of plastic to completely prevent the key being pressed!

[+] wishfish|3 years ago|reply
That was a nice feature of the Atari 800. Reset button is off to the side away from the keyboard. With little plastic risers / borders above and below it to further reduce the chance of accidentally hitting it. Even though I was a very clumsy kid, I don't think I ever inadvertently reset it. Which means it worked well in my sample size of 1.
[+] johndoe0815|3 years ago|reply
On the original Apple ][, the reset key was indeed just a regular key that was easy to press. On later models (the ][ plus, I think) Apple used a spring for the reset key that required a higher force to depress it. Finally, on the Apple //e, you had to press Control+Open Apple+Reset to reset the machine... but I have no idea if Franklin did anything special to the reset key on their Apple clone.
[+] Doxin|3 years ago|reply
The modern equivalent of having a "sleep" button on the keyboard is only a marginal improvement. Such a time waster.
[+] schoen|3 years ago|reply
A very strange computer manual that I had and enjoyed as a kid is The Secret Guide to Computers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Guide_to_Computers

Weird illustrations and humor and pretty eclectic and very opinionated coverage, from hardware to different operating systems to CS concepts, and the author said you could call him at home for free tech support if you bought the book. (I never tried that part, though.)

[+] hallarempt|3 years ago|reply
Heh, we had a Franklin Apple II clone in high school (in the Netherlands). It's what the pupils who had graduated from using the Newbrain class computers were allowed to use. Not that we got access to the manual, of course.

At first, computer lessons were, of course, given by the maths teachers, but they got bored with the things, and then Dutch language teachers took over, with rather more success.

(I ended up writing a school results tracking database for the Franklin computer, and after that, the computer was moved into the office, and I never saw it again.)

[+] dhosek|3 years ago|reply
The Apple manuals also had a sense of whimsy about them as well. I learned “defenestrate” from the glossary at the back of one of the Apple ][ manuals. I also seem to remember other jokes scattered throughout the manual including the index.
[+] allenrb|3 years ago|reply
I had a very early Apple //e (purchased 1983) and remember some funny things in the manuals. There was a glossary entry for Write-Only Memory. This contained an entire brief story about how it had been invented by a Prof. Farnsfarfle(?) and subsequently used to store some huge amount of surplus government data.
[+] zabzonk|3 years ago|reply
don't know defenestrate is so funny - throw someone out of a window?
[+] geenew|3 years ago|reply
Reminds me of some early Bungie games, which would have files called 'DONT_EVER_READ_THIS_FILE.txt", or something to that effect. The files, of course, were the readme files, named that way to trick people into reading them.
[+] tus666|3 years ago|reply
Back when hiring artists and writers meant going to actual creative writing and fine arts graduates from college.

Also why games from the era were so much better.

[+] Semaphor|3 years ago|reply
> Also why games from the era were so much better.

Hard disagree.

[+] anthk|3 years ago|reply
>Back when hiring artists and writers meant going to actual creative writing

Not always. In the 80's,a lot of people in my country, Spain, were self-taught. They loved computers but they also loved reading books and lots of comic books. In the 90's if you were into computers it wasn't weird to be a fanfiction writer or manga sketcher to copy some Dragon Ball drawings.

[+] npteljes|3 years ago|reply
What games do you have in mind?
[+] didgetmaster|3 years ago|reply
> Terrine Maison - Meatloaf

I had no idea what the singer's real name was before now.

[+] julian_sark|3 years ago|reply
This is right up my alley.

I'm known for writing documentation that is useful AND, let's say, entertaining. Or, depending on your inclination, sed 's/entertaining/hilarious/g'

Besides docu and Wiki pages (what unfortunately counts for docu in many companies), I've written man pages and shell scripts with more jokes than a longint can probably count.

Once had a shell script that did something really, really impactful and asked the user in increasingly aggressive prompts if he is sure, then delved into existentialism and how he can even be sure that he is so sure. Another prompted the unfortunate victim to validate that gravity, in fact, still works. Long story.

Some have deemed that "unprofessional", especially management. I am elated to see that this has precedence in print, and shall use this to make my case.

Oh, I have writing samples available. If anyone wants to hire a guy to write funny manuals or some other stuff, ping me :D

[+] csdvrx|3 years ago|reply
> Once had a shell script that did something really, really impactful and asked the user in increasingly aggressive prompts if he is sure, then delved into existentialism and how he can even be sure that he is so sure

Please share!

> Oh, I have writing samples available. If anyone wants to hire a guy to write funny manuals or some other stuff, ping me :D

Would you consider doing the same for a fun free software project that just aim to share knowledge about how http works?

[+] m3galinux|3 years ago|reply
I seem to remember one of the TRS-80 Basic manuals being a bit silly too. A lot more so than you'd expect from Radio Shack, anyway.

Found it: https://archive.org/details/Getting_Started_with_TRS-80_Basi...

[+] iamtedd|3 years ago|reply
On page 10, there is a suggestion to enter "STUERBPORAIYSIES!", then enable double-size mode. I can't find any reference for that anywhere. I wonder what it does?
[+] tapanjk|3 years ago|reply
> It’s a little late to bring it up now, but a good rule of thumb to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t buy a computer unless you know of at least two things that you can use it for BEFORE you buy it.

I guess this should also be a question to ask anybody looking to buy a high end computer today: "Sir, before you buy this, please name two uses of this computer which cannot be done by a $400 PC."

PS: I am joking.

[+] abricot|3 years ago|reply
I have kind of set that rule for myself. I'm not going to buy a 3D printer until I have 10 projects ready to print.

I'm still thinking about the first.

[+] rkagerer|3 years ago|reply
Referring to programs that actively resist being backed up:

This may be a user's manual, but when it comes to some programs that you buy off the shelf, you're more in a position of being used than you are of being a user.

Reminds me of the modern "you are the product" adage, and shows user-hostile software was already a thing 40 years ago.

[+] kwhitefoot|3 years ago|reply
We need more of that sort of thing!
[+] kergonath|3 years ago|reply
It’s a shame that there aren’t really anyone in the same vein as Douglas Adams (clever, witty, enthusiastic when he wants and cutting when he needs, and overpoweringly nerdy).

Reading some of his articles the other day (written for MacUser), there was no negativity, no angst, no flame war (but a healthy dose of irony); just pure enthusiasm about the cool new things we could do with the cool new computers and assorted gizmos. We could use more of that.

[+] nsxwolf|3 years ago|reply
Nothing is fun or whimsical anymore. Everything is super slick, on-brand, and boring.
[+] anfilt|3 years ago|reply
It would be a breath of fresh air for sure.
[+] forinti|3 years ago|reply
It reminds me of a couple of books: First Steps with your BBC Micro and Second Steps with your BBC Micro.

They are filled with cartoons and jokes.