When I was 23, I misdosed myself and took 110mg of 4-AcO-DMT. The experience was EXTREMELY traumatic and I believed I was dying. At one point I was so overstimulated I just lay on my kitchen floor convulsing uncontrollably.
The next few days I didn't know what to do. My body would just shake, I couldn't sleep and I stayed up until I passed out for an hour, and then my shaking would wake up myself up again. I was overwhelmed with dread and thought I had completely fucked my brain forever and all my potential was gone.
But I went to therapy, got better, and my life is completely normal now. I have HPPD and see visual snow, but that's about it.
This blog doesn't want to give platitudes like "it gets better" and I can see how they're not really helpful when you're in crisis mode. The one piece of advice that has helped me is the thinking that "I'm not the first one to ever go through this, and I won't be the last." No matter if you're fucked in the head, going bankrupt, getting divorced - whatever - you aren't alone and you can either find a solution or find acceptance.
A long time ago, I read an account online of someone who was looking for a new recreational drug experience and they got some risperidone, which is a popular antipsychotic.
They took a much larger dose than the normally prescribed amount, and it resulted in a vividly recounted seemingly interminable and utterly hellish experience.
I found it interesting and kind of funny, because we all live in a world familiar with crazy people, casually saying that someone troublesome "should get some help" or if more "empathetic" plaintively ask why nobody is doing anything about the poor untreated and downtrodden wandering the streets.
And yet, it's a shock to a normal (more or less) person to find out that such medications, which are cheap and sometimes effective, are not fun.
For some reason, the idea that "crazy pills" range from unpleasant to unbearable torture depending on dosage doesn't suggest itself as an obvious hypothesis to explain why people who obviously need them won't take them. And it never drives the development of better options.
Even if someone does try it for themselves, their take-away is that it was hell for them because they aren't crazy.
I took a heroic shroom dose and had a life alteringly bad experience. It left me a shell of my former self dealing with crippling anxiety and worse for years.
It got better with time, therapy, and focusing on health and wellness.
Professional help can really be a major catalyst for healing.
I have now fully recovered, feel better than ever and have a great life.
People must realize there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
> The one piece of advice that has helped me is the thinking that "I'm not the first one to ever go through this, and I won't be the last." No matter if you're fucked in the head, going bankrupt, getting divorced - whatever - you aren't alone and you can either find a solution or find acceptance.
That's good advice, but unfortunately it also applies to situations like "being put to death."
Maybe my response seems flippant, but it's the core reason I was never able to internalize platitudes. There doesn't seem to be any nuanced or precise advice.
He probably didn't mean it as philosophical advice, but when I read it, I burst out laughing and never really stopped. When things get tough, I just shrug and try to embrace it. After all, things can always get worse.
If you take an attitude of "I wonder how bad things can get?" then you tend to discover that there's an upper bound on most forms of badness, which did make me feel better.
E.g. it's hard to imagine a shot at the dentist getting much worse than the worst pain you've ever experienced in your life. So if you've already felt something worse, you can calibrate your temporary expectations and snap yourself out of fear loops.
A shot at the dentist isn't so bad, but mental loops can be. So if you're in an anxiety spiral, compare it to the worst emotional distress you've ever felt, and see if it's worse. If it's worse, switch to physical pain. I'm able to stay in a good mood when I'm nauseous thanks to having had one of the worst illnesses I've ever had, a few months ago. Headaches and queasiness feels small in comparison.
My best friend from high school did 20 years in prison. He was one of the first people sentenced under Missouri's "3 strikes" sentencing guidelines. He got out a few years ago. He told me, for him, rock bottom was when he heard the judge throw 20 years at him. He didn't think it would happen for such petty crimes (stealing pawnable junk out of people's garages) and his cooperation with the police. But when it happened, he knew they weren't gonna blink; he was gonna do the full 20 years. He did. He also told me that his entire time in prison was actually a gift. He got his life back together. He kicked his drug habits. He finished high school. Got a college degree. And got his own business started training service dogs. He told me the key, for him, to restarting his life was simply not being bitter about his bad situation. He blamed only himself, and decided to dig himself out.
Is it a good thing to ruin your life more than once?
I'm still paying the price of not having a structured family (not my fault), not studying when I should, and spending pretty much all my life until I was close to 30 yo doing mostly nothing of substance.
It took me serious determination and hard work to close the gap. I did get my diplomas and stuff (and even chose the wrong degree for me), and still takes a toll on me.
I'm 35 and I'm in a free self-paced bootcamp (because I need to work and sustain myself, and I can't just pay 8k to barely learn anything for six months, without income), doing what I have should done 15 years ago, which is programming/data/etc.
Internally, I'm (kind of, not completely) in peace with my life, but mistakes do have a cost. Maybe if your family is rich or your mistake is a one-off then you can manage it without much of a problem, but fucking up your life can take very different forms.
You pay not only with your income, but socially too. You really have to get good at selling snake oil for getting attention from girls for example, or befriending people who's above your income level, and so much more.
So yeah, I don't think "ruining your life" is that fine.
I took it as meaning "It's a good thing that it's possible to 'ruin your life' more than once because it means you survived the first time and have some experience for the second time." Not meaning "It's a good thing to ruin your life the second time." I think that heading was being unnecessarily clever in order to grab attention, but I don't think the article ever says it's a good thing to ruin your life, ever.
I did also "nothing of substance" until I was almost 30 also.. But it's fine I dont regret it. I did what I wanted at the time and I enjoyed that part of my life.
When I was approaching 30 I suddenly got these urges to get my life together and get a career, and I did, it was grand. I guess I am lucky and privileged, I did a free government course in programming and I loved it and that launched my career then.
I remember in my 20s going from Having it All Figured Out to single, unemployed, drastically reduced social circle, living in my parents basement, got depressed & anxious, got out of shape, took smoking back up - all in 6 months time. It wasn't all connected, but it did happen all at once, and I definitely let it snowball on me.
The best advice I got was to solve one problem at a time. I went all in on getting a job. Then getting an apt. Then getting in shape. Then reconnecting with friends. Then dating again. Then quitting smoking again.
I definitely had to lean on family/friends for help. Especially my parents, who had their adult son back in their basement for a few months, and a few friends/former colleagues, who worked their networks on my behalf.
> I have expertise in Ruined Life Reclamation
In hindsight, the person who gave me the best advice definitely did have some expertise themselves.
Have a fantastic loving partner, an incredible house we worked so much on, an amazing job with fantastic people I enjoy being around every day.
I've decided to part ways with my partner now and move out, be on my own again at 30. I could've started a family now, but chose not to. I don't know if that opportunity will ever come again.
I've tried hard, but I just couldn't shake off the feeling of living a life according to a template, or a recipe. Holding myself up to everybody's expectations but mine. Feels like I'm ruining my life by walking away from people that truly care about me.
I don't want to bask in regret. Am I ruining my life?
Honestly, I would say you definitely might be. But I understand the wanderlust. It will be freeing at the beginning, but that life won't be there when you come back, and even if it is, the love won't be the same because _you left_. You left. An innocence the relationship had is lost. You will now change in different ways from one another. And you will now each tell yourselves stories about the other that don't match up.
Some advice is that you have to decide to stop loving your partner now. If you leave, what you've left is gone. Forever. You can't have it back. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You left. It's over. If you meet someone else, don't list the ways in which your connection with them isn't as ineffably beautiful as what you had, because the world outside of relationships hardens people. You may never have that feeling of home back in your life.
To be in a relationship is to deny the world. You chose the world. Own it, accept it. You were not fit for a relationship.
For the record, the template is there because it works. Life can go sideways more than you'd imagine is possible. It can obviously be a great decision you'll look back on as being a great decision. But you've tossed away something precious. You don't get to do that scot-free. You're different a person now.
Kind of sounds like you're rebelling against what you interpret as "the" template for life, but I'm not aware of any such thing beyond the broadest strokes. You can absolutely blow up what you've got and start from a new place, or you can define your life in the margins between what we all tend to have in common. Example: I have a wife, kids, home and job, but I also take big breaks between relatively short job tenures, do a lot of in-depth personal projects and mountain bike at a pretty extreme level for a guy pushing fifty.
Probably. That template you’re running away from is popular because it works. Most people meet all of their friends in school, which you only have access to when you’re young. Then you meet a partner in your mid-20s because that’s when everyone else is also looking for a partner. Then you get your career in full swing because you have few responsibilities and can put a lot of energy into it. Then you start a family because that’s the point in your life where fertility is optimal.
All those things happen at roughly similar times for everyone, because each stage of life is optimized for that task. If you try to break the template, then you become the creepy old guy at the club trying to meet people. Or the guy in mid-life who has no career history in that field. Or you don’t have the energy to raise kids anymore. Or the pool of available partners is so small you don’t really have any options.
You don’t live in this world alone, and most large goals require collaboration with other people, even if that collaboration is simply aligning your timing do do things when everyone else is. You won’t live forever, and your mind and body will slowly fail. You need to do things while you still can, not when some unattainable ideal state is reached.
You don’t have infinite time to wait for perfect opportunities to come along. You need to make them happen as best you can with the people and resources you have available at that moment.
only if the response to feeling stuck in someone elses template is doing something random hasty, that you haven't thought through.
before doing anything you should figure out what you want from your life. set goals, check if they are realistic and then take steps to explore.
for example, instead of just moving out, i would have tried travelling. go to another city for a week or a month. try it on for size. take small steps to turn the life that you have into the life that you want.
i was kind of in a similar situation, where i felt stuck in a life without perspective, and decided to move my whole family to another continent, giving up friends and a regular routine for a life of uncertainty and chaos (that wants to be tamed). i don't regret the move, as i have no desire to go back, but i wish i would have been able try first before making a commitment.
Sounds like you could use a gap year or a sabbatical. Don’t underestimate how hard it is to find a loving partner. A lot of people in our society won’t, unfortunately. Any way you could try working together on making a unique life somehow? Put the house on the market and enjoy a long trip around US/Canada/Europe? Think about the house again later? Maybe a shake up with career? But I hope you don’t just walk away from everything. I lived abroad for a few years and it really helped me appreciate the things we have at home in US.
It’s really hard to know. Maybe, maybe not. Or maybe yes in some ways, but not in others? I always worry about being susceptible to the “grass is greener” type thinking. In any case good luck to you
It's really not that old, you have plenty of time to find someone and start a family. Tons of people are single in their 30s. After 40, I found it much harder to find someone though.
There’s not really advice here but it does speak the truth. In one year both my marriage and my mother died. I’m still here and still surviving. I still have days that feel hopeless, but that really is because fear doesn’t know the future. It makes me feel comfortable saying to myself “Today sucked and was a complete wash. Let’s go to bed and try again tomorrow.”
It's tough giving advice without knowing the specifics. Ruined the life is different for different people. Someone who's failed their college degree might think their life is ruined, another person who's lost their entire family might think their life is ruined. Both are quite different cases to diagnose. For a general template, ChatGPT actually offers a good response:
If you feel like you've "ruined your life," it's important to remember that it's never too late to make changes and improve your situation. Here are a few steps you can take:
1. Acknowledge what went wrong: Take responsibility for your actions and understand that you have the power to change the course of your life.
2. Seek help: Whether it's from a therapist, counselor, or support group, talking to someone about your feelings and situation can help you gain perspective and develop a plan for moving forward.
3. Make a plan: Identify specific goals and steps you can take to achieve them, such as getting a job, going back to school, or improving your relationships.
4. Take action: It's important to take consistent, small steps towards your goals. Even if progress is slow, you are moving forward.
5. Be patient with yourself: Remember that change takes time and that setbacks are normal. Be kind to yourself and don't give up.
6. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you in your journey.
It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it's possible to recover from even the most difficult situations. With time and effort, you can rebuild your life and create a better future for yourself.
If you’ve really screwed the pooch, delete all internet presence and leave the country. No one in Costa Rica will look too deeply into your history. Leave illegally if you have to. Better to start over than many other options.
If you’re too fucked for that, like you’re an active pedophile or a SBF figure, there’s another option that I’m not going to mention by name. Some modes of living - bring Derek Chauvin right now for example - are going to scare you so badly that when they end, you’re still fucked.
Generally though, restarting is possible and much more common than you think.
I kind of ruined up my career some by taking an extended break to pursue other interests like depression and sleeping 12+ hours per day. What I didn't really factor into my choice was employers are scared of people who have the financial independence to take breaks like this because they cannot be relied on to be loyal wage slaves. I haven't found a great way to overcome this yet because I totally get their concerns. Anyone who doesn't an absolutely 100% need the job is not as dependable. I don't want to be deceptive about why I took a break but in this case it feels like honesty just isn't gonna work.
I think the key aspect to overcoming losses resetting Baseline expectations though that you can move forward without overwhelming sorrow and regret.
I think the interesting question is if this is possible in a objective way. A lot of people that I've met rationalize dramatic experience and loss with the idea that it made them who they are, and is there for a net positive. I've heard this from people after suffering lifelong injury or acquiring permanent disease like AIDS.
It seems difficult to accept that it is water under the bridge without rationalizing that it was necessary. I guess from a deterministic point of view, maybe it was
The weird thing is the bulk of our time spent “in a painful experience” is willing participation. The anatomy of a painful experience is stimuli & response. The stimuli are (generally speaking) pretty brief, but you have no say in them. The response is the part where I have wallowed in self pity for months, have screamed myself hoarse into the void, etc.
Recently, sometimes I can’t help but see an optional epicycle wrapped around the whole experience like “ah, pain again. okay, let’s get this over with and get back to what I care about.”
Reading about other people fucking up is a great way to feel better.
It's actually human nature afaik. In studies into human happiness Leda Cosmides and John Tooby found that our brains set our happiness level relative our neighbours.
Not many of them have the spamming potential that email has. The real purpose behind all these bullshit newsletters is to "build an audience" and be able to "engage" it later with spam or maybe even sell the entire list to other spammers.
I prefer email because it’s all in one place and easy to ignore. Then I’ll have a nice leisurely weekend morning reading through my inbox. Never noticed an issue with junk mail. But I’m curious, what would you recommend as a better alternative?
[+] [-] RubyRidgeRandy|3 years ago|reply
The next few days I didn't know what to do. My body would just shake, I couldn't sleep and I stayed up until I passed out for an hour, and then my shaking would wake up myself up again. I was overwhelmed with dread and thought I had completely fucked my brain forever and all my potential was gone.
But I went to therapy, got better, and my life is completely normal now. I have HPPD and see visual snow, but that's about it.
This blog doesn't want to give platitudes like "it gets better" and I can see how they're not really helpful when you're in crisis mode. The one piece of advice that has helped me is the thinking that "I'm not the first one to ever go through this, and I won't be the last." No matter if you're fucked in the head, going bankrupt, getting divorced - whatever - you aren't alone and you can either find a solution or find acceptance.
[+] [-] vba616|3 years ago|reply
(https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=20529)
They took a much larger dose than the normally prescribed amount, and it resulted in a vividly recounted seemingly interminable and utterly hellish experience.
I found it interesting and kind of funny, because we all live in a world familiar with crazy people, casually saying that someone troublesome "should get some help" or if more "empathetic" plaintively ask why nobody is doing anything about the poor untreated and downtrodden wandering the streets.
And yet, it's a shock to a normal (more or less) person to find out that such medications, which are cheap and sometimes effective, are not fun.
For some reason, the idea that "crazy pills" range from unpleasant to unbearable torture depending on dosage doesn't suggest itself as an obvious hypothesis to explain why people who obviously need them won't take them. And it never drives the development of better options.
Even if someone does try it for themselves, their take-away is that it was hell for them because they aren't crazy.
[+] [-] zander312|3 years ago|reply
I took a heroic shroom dose and had a life alteringly bad experience. It left me a shell of my former self dealing with crippling anxiety and worse for years.
It got better with time, therapy, and focusing on health and wellness.
Professional help can really be a major catalyst for healing.
I have now fully recovered, feel better than ever and have a great life.
People must realize there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
[+] [-] sillysaurusx|3 years ago|reply
That's good advice, but unfortunately it also applies to situations like "being put to death."
Maybe my response seems flippant, but it's the core reason I was never able to internalize platitudes. There doesn't seem to be any nuanced or precise advice.
Interestingly, one of the most effective for me was dang's: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=13110096
He probably didn't mean it as philosophical advice, but when I read it, I burst out laughing and never really stopped. When things get tough, I just shrug and try to embrace it. After all, things can always get worse.
If you take an attitude of "I wonder how bad things can get?" then you tend to discover that there's an upper bound on most forms of badness, which did make me feel better.
E.g. it's hard to imagine a shot at the dentist getting much worse than the worst pain you've ever experienced in your life. So if you've already felt something worse, you can calibrate your temporary expectations and snap yourself out of fear loops.
A shot at the dentist isn't so bad, but mental loops can be. So if you're in an anxiety spiral, compare it to the worst emotional distress you've ever felt, and see if it's worse. If it's worse, switch to physical pain. I'm able to stay in a good mood when I'm nauseous thanks to having had one of the worst illnesses I've ever had, a few months ago. Headaches and queasiness feels small in comparison.
[+] [-] omginternets|3 years ago|reply
Also, how disruptive is the visual snow on a day-to-day basis? And does it attenuate a bit over time?
[+] [-] lachlan_gray|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] DrBenCarson|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] drewcoo|3 years ago|reply
Are you sure that was "micro" dosing?
It doesn't sound so micro. And this says it's at least an order of magnitude larger dosage than a microdose would be.
https://thethirdwave.co/microdosing/dmt/
[+] [-] jimt1234|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] zirgs|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] spaniard89277|3 years ago|reply
I'm still paying the price of not having a structured family (not my fault), not studying when I should, and spending pretty much all my life until I was close to 30 yo doing mostly nothing of substance.
It took me serious determination and hard work to close the gap. I did get my diplomas and stuff (and even chose the wrong degree for me), and still takes a toll on me.
I'm 35 and I'm in a free self-paced bootcamp (because I need to work and sustain myself, and I can't just pay 8k to barely learn anything for six months, without income), doing what I have should done 15 years ago, which is programming/data/etc.
Internally, I'm (kind of, not completely) in peace with my life, but mistakes do have a cost. Maybe if your family is rich or your mistake is a one-off then you can manage it without much of a problem, but fucking up your life can take very different forms.
You pay not only with your income, but socially too. You really have to get good at selling snake oil for getting attention from girls for example, or befriending people who's above your income level, and so much more.
So yeah, I don't think "ruining your life" is that fine.
[+] [-] fwipsy|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] everyone|3 years ago|reply
When I was approaching 30 I suddenly got these urges to get my life together and get a career, and I did, it was grand. I guess I am lucky and privileged, I did a free government course in programming and I loved it and that launched my career then.
[+] [-] curiousllama|3 years ago|reply
The best advice I got was to solve one problem at a time. I went all in on getting a job. Then getting an apt. Then getting in shape. Then reconnecting with friends. Then dating again. Then quitting smoking again.
I definitely had to lean on family/friends for help. Especially my parents, who had their adult son back in their basement for a few months, and a few friends/former colleagues, who worked their networks on my behalf.
> I have expertise in Ruined Life Reclamation
In hindsight, the person who gave me the best advice definitely did have some expertise themselves.
[+] [-] csmpltn|3 years ago|reply
I've decided to part ways with my partner now and move out, be on my own again at 30. I could've started a family now, but chose not to. I don't know if that opportunity will ever come again.
I've tried hard, but I just couldn't shake off the feeling of living a life according to a template, or a recipe. Holding myself up to everybody's expectations but mine. Feels like I'm ruining my life by walking away from people that truly care about me.
I don't want to bask in regret. Am I ruining my life?
[+] [-] ANumberlessMan|3 years ago|reply
Some advice is that you have to decide to stop loving your partner now. If you leave, what you've left is gone. Forever. You can't have it back. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. You left. It's over. If you meet someone else, don't list the ways in which your connection with them isn't as ineffably beautiful as what you had, because the world outside of relationships hardens people. You may never have that feeling of home back in your life.
To be in a relationship is to deny the world. You chose the world. Own it, accept it. You were not fit for a relationship.
For the record, the template is there because it works. Life can go sideways more than you'd imagine is possible. It can obviously be a great decision you'll look back on as being a great decision. But you've tossed away something precious. You don't get to do that scot-free. You're different a person now.
[+] [-] winphone1974|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] orev|3 years ago|reply
Probably. That template you’re running away from is popular because it works. Most people meet all of their friends in school, which you only have access to when you’re young. Then you meet a partner in your mid-20s because that’s when everyone else is also looking for a partner. Then you get your career in full swing because you have few responsibilities and can put a lot of energy into it. Then you start a family because that’s the point in your life where fertility is optimal.
All those things happen at roughly similar times for everyone, because each stage of life is optimized for that task. If you try to break the template, then you become the creepy old guy at the club trying to meet people. Or the guy in mid-life who has no career history in that field. Or you don’t have the energy to raise kids anymore. Or the pool of available partners is so small you don’t really have any options.
You don’t live in this world alone, and most large goals require collaboration with other people, even if that collaboration is simply aligning your timing do do things when everyone else is. You won’t live forever, and your mind and body will slowly fail. You need to do things while you still can, not when some unattainable ideal state is reached.
You don’t have infinite time to wait for perfect opportunities to come along. You need to make them happen as best you can with the people and resources you have available at that moment.
[+] [-] em-bee|3 years ago|reply
before doing anything you should figure out what you want from your life. set goals, check if they are realistic and then take steps to explore.
for example, instead of just moving out, i would have tried travelling. go to another city for a week or a month. try it on for size. take small steps to turn the life that you have into the life that you want.
i was kind of in a similar situation, where i felt stuck in a life without perspective, and decided to move my whole family to another continent, giving up friends and a regular routine for a life of uncertainty and chaos (that wants to be tamed). i don't regret the move, as i have no desire to go back, but i wish i would have been able try first before making a commitment.
[+] [-] kylehotchkiss|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kyleee|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Beldin|3 years ago|reply
How would we know? Based on one post on the internet? Let's not; that's not remotely how that works.
If you truly want help, get professional help - the offline kind.
[+] [-] yodsanklai|3 years ago|reply
It's really not that old, you have plenty of time to find someone and start a family. Tons of people are single in their 30s. After 40, I found it much harder to find someone though.
[+] [-] unknown|3 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] joshmarinacci|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sarks_nz|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ramphastidae|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] pigtailgirl|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] frontman1988|3 years ago|reply
If you feel like you've "ruined your life," it's important to remember that it's never too late to make changes and improve your situation. Here are a few steps you can take:
It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it's possible to recover from even the most difficult situations. With time and effort, you can rebuild your life and create a better future for yourself.[+] [-] peteforde|3 years ago|reply
For the attention-starved, here's the TED version: https://www.ted.com/talks/jon_ronson_when_online_shaming_goe...
Everyone is different; both in situation and tolerance for / ability to recover from trauma:
- find a project that you're deeply passionate about and throw yourself into it
- recruit a good therapist
- don't skip exercise; lap swimming (Google AfterShokz Xtrainerz) is an excellent way to calm your mind and keep your heart ticking
- don't let anyone convince you that the dumbest 0.01% of your life precludes you from finding meaning, belonging to a community or being loved
[+] [-] throwayyy479087|3 years ago|reply
If you’ve really screwed the pooch, delete all internet presence and leave the country. No one in Costa Rica will look too deeply into your history. Leave illegally if you have to. Better to start over than many other options.
If you’re too fucked for that, like you’re an active pedophile or a SBF figure, there’s another option that I’m not going to mention by name. Some modes of living - bring Derek Chauvin right now for example - are going to scare you so badly that when they end, you’re still fucked.
Generally though, restarting is possible and much more common than you think.
[+] [-] unknown|3 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] meindnoch|3 years ago|reply
E.g. if you’ve got senteced to life in prison, then you should pick up a hobby like mathematics.
[+] [-] pjot|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] travisjungroth|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|3 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] jsz0|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] s1artibartfast|3 years ago|reply
I think the interesting question is if this is possible in a objective way. A lot of people that I've met rationalize dramatic experience and loss with the idea that it made them who they are, and is there for a net positive. I've heard this from people after suffering lifelong injury or acquiring permanent disease like AIDS.
It seems difficult to accept that it is water under the bridge without rationalizing that it was necessary. I guess from a deterministic point of view, maybe it was
[+] [-] raydiatian|3 years ago|reply
Recently, sometimes I can’t help but see an optional epicycle wrapped around the whole experience like “ah, pain again. okay, let’s get this over with and get back to what I care about.”
[+] [-] unknown|3 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] Madmallard|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] meindnoch|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] vba616|3 years ago|reply
I wonder if this person thinks his life is ruined:
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/20/philip-esformes-whose-prison...
Or this person:
`Pol Pot stated that his "conscience is clear" but acknowledged that mistakes were made'
[+] [-] JadeNB|3 years ago|reply
I was wondering about the source. This seems to be from a 1997 interview with Robin McDowell: https://apnews.com/article/2a1128d4b0c52563496f1e296df0a229 .
[+] [-] mawadev|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] everyone|3 years ago|reply
It's actually human nature afaik. In studies into human happiness Leda Cosmides and John Tooby found that our brains set our happiness level relative our neighbours.
[+] [-] rodrigosetti|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Operative0198|3 years ago|reply
There are many better and more efficient ways to solve this problem rather than having your subscription mail go straight to junk mail.
[+] [-] Nextgrid|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] escapedmoose|3 years ago|reply