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lechacker | 3 years ago

Trying to "flirt" in those spheres is looked down upon just as ferociously as doing it at the office. Have you not seen the viral TikTok of the woman that was "angry" that some guy was "checking her out" at the gym, while the man was barely paying attention at her at all?

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ketzo|3 years ago

Treating hobby scenes as pure dating opportunities is definitely looked down on. If you show up to Introductory Spanish and start dropping pick-up lines on strangers, yeah, people are gonna show you the door.

But hobbies are an opportunity for repeated exposure to strangers. Lots and lots and lots of people start casual friendships that can turn into romantic ones.

Using a hobby as a meat market: deeply uncool, and people will notice very quickly.

Using a hobby as a way to meet people, and having one of those relationships turn romantic: totally natural!

It’s a very fine line, yeah, but trust me, it is extremely obvious which one people are doing.

konart|3 years ago

I don't use TikTok but I understand the problem. I wasn't talking about visiting those places just to pick up a partner. I was talking about opporunities provided by a place were you are basically forced into communication.

The hardest part in any relationship (at least if you are a shy person without much of experience) is to start talking. It's much easier to talk to someone if you already know each other. Work\clubs etc - provide a great ground for a first step(s)

Obviously people will turn away from you if you just came by to flirt.

>as ferociously as doing it at the office

People always flirt in the office thouth. In many cases they do this naturally and even without any thought about any kind of continuation. In many cases they are in a relationship even.

Flirtin is not only about sex, in fact it is more about sharing with other people "youtube pickup masters")

benj111|3 years ago

Is it? 1 Tik tok video doesn't really prove the point (seems to me it proves the opposite).

Also it depends what you mean by flirting. If you join a class and immediately start trying to pull every person of the opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing), that just gives the vibe of being there for the wrong reason. If on the other hand you meet someone doing a thing you wanted to do anyway, and a friendship blossoms, that seems to be the point at which you start flirting.