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mattikus | 3 years ago

I think you're being a bit uncharitable and jaded here. For many, events like these are actually the catalyst that causes one to "grow up", which is what the author is conveying.

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haswell|3 years ago

And it’s just one of many ways people can come to realize this over time.

I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid the experience of layoffs, but learned the same lesson by pouring too much of myself into a role and burning out.

Until you’ve directly experienced the reasons work isn’t a family, etc. it can be hard to avoid falling into the trap of thinking that it is.

I would also say that most takes on this are a bit too binary, and some of my longest lasting and strongest friendships came from past jobs. I think the key to use work as an opportunity to establish those relationships instead of a ready-made support system, and not extending the personal aspect of those relationships into workplace behavior (e.g. doing more work because it’s “family”).

fsociety|3 years ago

Burning yourself out sucks, but is not an equivalent experience to being laid off. Not sure how you came to this conclusion.

georgemcbay|3 years ago

I agree.

IMO its worth mentioning the reality of the employee<->corporation relationship because MANY companies in both tech and outside of tech have long tried to sell employees (particularly junior ones) on the idea that the company is a big family (without really acting like one beyond a very superficial level, eg. enjoy the free costco snacks, and or catered lunches/dinners when you're here for 12 hour days building value for the family!).

When you're a bit more experienced its easy to be more realistic about this relationship due to seeing that lie revealed a couple of times on a personal level, but that doesn't mean its not worth pointing out and talking about the lie.

dougmwne|3 years ago

Absolutely. Nearly everyone I know left college doe-eyed and ready to dedicate a piece of their soul to their shiny new job. Everyone learned otherwise one person at a time. Some worked for “we’re all a family” companies and were able to remain innocent ignorants till the day the axe fell.

jrochkind1|3 years ago

It's almost like... people really want to find meaning and purpose in an occupation, community in the place they spend at least half of their waking hours, and work they can be proud of. How... immature?

I agree that the present society cannot generally fulfill these wants/needs.

PragmaticPulp|3 years ago

> Absolutely. Nearly everyone I know left college doe-eyed and ready to dedicate a piece of their soul to their shiny new job

When did you graduate college? In the social media era, the sentiment has been more about "fuck you, pay me" and "H.R. is not your friend" type ideology. This is especially true in recent years, where a lot of college graduates have been exposed to years of /r/antiwork in their daily Reddit browsing before they even get their first jobs.

A lot of juniors want to do good work and produce good results, but it's common for them to believe that corporations are evil, capitalism is a failed ideology, and that it's virtuous to minimize their labor input while maximizing their compensation. It can take a while to convince some of these new hires that as their manager, I'm a person too.

musicale|3 years ago

> "we’re all a family"

... that's why our valued Craptech employees should not be surprised if they are subject to abuse, estrangement, abandonment, financial hardship, mistreatment in care homes, abortion or termination of life support, etc., concurrent with our expectation of absolute loyalty at the expense of happiness, health, and sanity. And of course our gender pay policies are modeled on domestic work.

ThrowawayR2|3 years ago

The Dilbert comic strip has been running since 1989 and was about the life of engineers at something that nominally looked like a tech company and, even then, people were remarking that a lot of its humor worked because it was true. If anyone graduated without the awareness that the working world wasn't going to necessarily be all rainbows and unicorns, they weren't paying attention.

jrockway|3 years ago

I don't know if I agree that "growing up" and "becoming bitter and cynical" are the same thing. Getting more bitter as you age might be something to work on with a therapist, not something to aspire to.

atomicUpdate|3 years ago

They aren’t telling you to “become bitter and cynical”, they’re saying to be realistic. Life isn’t fair, and part of growing up is realizing that.

rayiner|3 years ago

Thats unfortunate because this is a lesson you should learn much earlier in life. Like, how do you get to adulthood not knowing how the world works?

bradleyjg|3 years ago

You know who was a bit uncharitable? The people saying “okay boomer” to the Bobs of the world when they kindly tried to share their experience.

actionablefiber|3 years ago

I'm curious about this. My experience is that people in my age bracket (early 20s) have been saying "okay boomer" to the people telling us that being in your 20s and 30s is about hustling to show loyalty to your company, showing up at the office five days a week, ingratiating yourself with your boss, spending late nights at the office and being buddy-buddy with all your coworkers. I have never ever witnessed anyone employing this phrase as a response to someone's pessimism about the capitalist society we live in.