[TamDenholm]

“Should an emergency situation occur, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you.”

Rule applies here, work on yourself so that you're a better person to be with in a relationship. Work on physical health, good diet, mental wellbeing, work through any past traumas or bad experiences (perhaps with a mental health professional) so you're not carring baggage to future relationships, work on impulse control, emotional control and pretty much the most important one above all others, communication skills.

These things basically apply to all relationships, romantic, professional, friendships, family, etc and are generally good things to work on for your own happiness and wellbeing too.

[neom]

My young cousin was going through a breakup with her boyfriend recently and he was sending her all this stuff about how she needed to stay with him because he couldn't go on without her because he loves her so much and she's so perfect for him blah blah blah. He was basically loving himself by proxy. I told her, If my wife asked me for a divorce because our marriage was negatively impacting her life, of course I'd say no problem, if she was to be more happy and fulfilled in that reality, I'd do it in a heartbeat, I love her! It would hurt, and I would be hurt, but ultimately I'd be fine because I trust and love myself, and eventually, even more happy if it meant she was happy. I love her because of who she is, and she loves me because of who I am, we both love ourselves and share love together.

[gardenhedge]

99% of relationships are not like this. At all.

[atoav]

I wholeheartedly agree with this comment. Relationships are about you and the other. Becoming a better person yourself is the best way to inspire others to do so as well (and as a plus, if the relationship goes to pieces you get out of it a better person).

One thing I'd like to add: do not think your relationship to your loved one is god given, something they owe you or something that you can take for granted. It really helps to remind yourself to view a relationship as what it realistically is: two (or more) people deciding to spend part of their life together for mutual benefit and growth, be it material, emotional or anything else.

If you do not take your relationships for granted you have to ask yourself more if this is what you want and if this is what your loved one should have to love with. Just because they said ues to sharing life with you once, does not mean there is nothing to be done in the long run.

[jnsaff2]

Well said. I did something similar.

Being comfortable in your own skin makes you more confident, confidence is attractive. It will snowball from there.

Sometimes learning a skill can help to start yourself on a good path.

For me it was going through the training to get a pilots license. Holding the license in my hands made me proud of myself and it had a ripple effect that set me on a path of self improvement. Got married few weeks ago.