[foldedcornice]

It is an imprecise definition, but to take away more general advice, perhaps this is:

1) Be the best person you can be (and seek to find for yourself what that means, by noticing the people you admire in your life who you judge to be good people)

2) Don't pretend to be something you are not just to find a relationship or impress someone. If you followed 1), then you will be both attractive and acting in a way you feel good about, instead of being an asshole.

This generally agrees with your comment, while adding a bit with point 2) about how authenticity can be defined as "don't be something you are not, unless you genuinely want to change for yourself and yourself only."

[hosh]

I specifically talk about going inward to find out who you really are — and that does mean, it is not about the role model.

Or rather, if you are going to use a role model, there is a particular confusion I advise watching out for. Your own admiration reflects your deep sense of qualities important to you, not necessarily something inherent in the person behind the role model. The role model’s role is not to model behaviors and actions, but to reflect what is already within you.

Once you recognize this feeling of admiration, I advise tracing, with your own awareness and mind, where it is coming from within. That involves meditation, and maybe therapy.

If instead, you chase after that other person, you awareness goes after them. Maybe you luck out, and the person behind the role model will keep reflecting it back to you. Chances are, that is not what will happen.