[Zachsa999]

Innocent question by a non meditator.

Every couple months when it takes an hour or two to fall asleep, I get this otherworldly feeling; like a specific part of my body is growing unbelievably heavy, large and uncontrollable. It feels like this body part will end up crushing me, suffocating me, imploding, etc. It feels like it's happening to me, but I am not in my body. I start to feel emotions start to wash by me, it starts with curiosity, shifts to discomfort then quickly on to anxiety, fear, depression, terror, and once the last three in a horrifying mix.

It started when I was young, probably 10 or 12, and has slightly decreased over time. I'm closer to 25 now, and it's lost it's hold slightly. Two or three times it got me out of bed and pacing around grabbing things for fear of death or an unimaginable irrational fear of my swelling tounge. Currently I have a high level of control over it, I can choose whether I want to dive in or what level of emotion I want to experience.

Is this an accidental over application of meditation? Is it dementia at an extremely young age?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

[zozbot234]

The state of being about to fall asleep is an altered state of consciousness, and not too different from the states that are entered while meditating. The standard way to address it would be to try and bring that state of anxiety, fear and terror towards a calm equanimity: a sense and intuition that no matter what happens, everything will be okay. This might even help you realize that you actually have some unresolved baggage or stress to work through that's blocking this path and leaving you with that anxiety. But that's quite common and not very hard to address in turn.

[Zachsa999]

Thanks for the comment.

I agree, and my experience has been that I can turn it all off. I didn't put it here as a "help me god" but it's been on the back of my mind for years, and I was hoping someone here might have academic knowledgeable with this exact experience.

[mikem170]

Some of what you said reminds me of a friend of mine who had "night terrors". This friend described how they would sometimes wake up in the wrong order. Their conscious mind would wake up while the body was still paralyzed with sleep, typically with a terrible feeling of dread, like someone behind them is going to attack them and they can't move. What you described made me wonder if sometimes you fall asleep in the wrong order.

[Zachsa999]

Thanks for the comment. Interesting observation, you suggest that I am experiencing a form of lucid dreaming, but I only notice it when I experience a specific dream?

One thing that is constant throughout app these occurrences is the emotional path and my mouth lips and tongue that experience this feeling.

[jayavanth]

Seems to me like you're just in a state where you're conscious while you're body is getting ready to sleep. You're also in a state of sleep paralysis.

You should check out a book called Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming. He has sections on sleep paralysis and nightmares. First few chapters tell you about the stages of sleep