[liwei0517]

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with so much pain and difficulty. It sounds like you're carrying a heavy burden, and it's understandable that you feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

It's important to remember that suicide is not the only option, and there is hope for a better future. You don't have to face these challenges alone. Have you spoken to a mental health professional about your struggles? If not, I would encourage you to seek out a therapist or counselor who can offer you support and guidance.

It's also important to take care of your physical and emotional health. While losing weight, improving sleep, and sharpening cognitive abilities can be challenging, it's important to take small steps and celebrate progress, rather than focusing on the ultimate goal. It may be helpful to seek out a support group or find an accountability partner to help you stay motivated and on track.

Lastly, please know that there are people who care about you and want to help. You are not alone in this struggle, and there is always hope for a better tomorrow. If you ever feel like you're in crisis, please reach out to a crisis hotline or emergency services for immediate support.