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AstixAndBelix | 2 years ago

The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem. He knows exactly why and how his students behave this way, and yet he still takes it very personally. I'm glad he has at least found an explanation, but it would really help if he consulted with a mental health specialist as to which steps to take to stop feeling distraught every time it happens

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blackshaw|2 years ago

> He

Given that the post mentions the author's pregnancy and miscarriage, I'm pretty sure it's "she".

nemo44x|2 years ago

[deleted]

smsm42|2 years ago

It's not a mental health issue. It's not unhealthy to feel upset if people behave in a way that inconveniences you or makes you feel bad. It's a normal human emotional reaction, people are not robots, and knowing the rational explanation for something does not prevent one from feeling emotions about it. There's not much to be done about it, but blogging about it may actually be pretty therapeutic.

bawolff|2 years ago

Isn't it reasonable to feel a little sad when something like this happens?

Like by all means if they are crushed by this, see a specialist, but a little pang of sadness hardly seems like an unreasonable reaction requiring a mental health professional.

The goal of therapy isn't to make you immune from all negative emotions.

lobstrosity420|2 years ago

To be fair the feeling you get from reading the post is that it crushed her.

analyst74|2 years ago

I do not like ghosting, but having the ability to adapt to local customs is quite important when living in a foreign country.

It seems the author actually understands the local customs, but couldn't accept it emotionally.

crummy|2 years ago

Would accepting it emotionally mean not having those emotions?

WarOnPrivacy|2 years ago

> The author has correctly and rationally identified the problem.

Did she? She indicated politeness likely plays a role but didn't get into the specifics of Japanese politeness that results in this.