[bippingchip]

The article overlooks a fundamental side of the social contract that is at least equally, if not more, important: how much time and effort (not money) do personally invest to spend time with your friends.

In my view, it's only awkward when the money side of things is not aligned with the personal investment.

That dinner example from the article actually shows this: I buy you all Olive garden dinner, or: I take the time to invite you to my home, spend some time clean the house think on what to by and prepare, what music to play, maybe a movie to watch after etc. in order to have a good time together. This is a much more thoughtful and mutually beneficial form of investment in friendship than just throwing money at it.

Another example could be: Hey, I bought a new board game (or PS5 or something else), wanna come over and play? You might have spent quite some money, but the goal is to be able to invest in spending time with your friends.

The moment that is (or is perceived to be) your main intent, most folks would have a hard time looking at this as bribery.

[ilyt]

> That dinner example from the article actually shows this: I buy you all Olive garden dinner, or: I take the time to invite you to my home, spend some time clean the house think on what to by and prepare, what music to play, maybe a movie to watch after etc. in order to have a good time together. This is a much more thoughtful and mutually beneficial form of investment in friendship than just throwing money at it.

Sooo the solution is to make a party at your house but hire a cleaner and catering :D

[vorpalhex]

I struggled with the restaurant example for this reason.

I take an invite to a restaurant as an invite to hang out and socialize. My friend is telling me they want to spend time together and don't want to cook. I don't feel awkward about this at all.

[lotsofpulp]

I would much rather my friends invite me to spend time together while cooking rather than go to a restaurant. For one, the mean will be guaranteed to be delicious and more healthy than the restaurant. Two, it is cheaper. Three, we get to do an activity together as opposed to sit around. Four, at least one person does not have to travel.

I could go on, and restaurants are okay and all, but I prefer them for casual acquaintances. With the closest friends, I would hands down pick cooking (assuming eating together is all we are doing).

[carimura]

ya exactly. For my close friends who I've known for decades and still hang out with, none of that seems weird (except the Olive Garden part).

[reaperducer]

how much time and effort (not money) do personally invest to spend time with your friends.

Exactly. If you're worried about the money, then you're not friends, you're acquaintances.