(no title)
locustous | 2 years ago
Where to begin. I'll be as straight forward as I can.
Porn use cultivates lust. A false form of love that seeks easy sexual satisfaction instead of a stable long term committed relationship that's best for kids. Porn is a pretty major contributor to divorce and otherwise blowing up relationships. Some women will tolerate it for a time, or try to and even claim to succeed. But it eats at them and contributes greatly to their unhappiness.
It's another form of infidelity, which is quite infamous in human society since forever. Numerous literature pieces.
It's basically a love receptor inhibitor. The deeper you are in it the harder it will be to really love a woman. A real woman requires TLC, a great deal of it, a porn woman does not. How much energy do you thing goes into a relationship if all male sexual satisfaction is tied solely to it's health?
If you've been in it since youth you probably have never experienced the kind of real love I'm talking about. I know because I was there, myself, for years. I walked a life of porn for many years and it's taken many years to overcome that addiction. Night and day.
whalesalad|2 years ago
hulitu|2 years ago
Citation needed.
Usually a man's porn collection is not "public". If one shows it to his wife then ...
locustous|2 years ago
https://verilymag.com/2017/07/causes-of-divorce-effects-of-w...
https://www.science.org/content/article/divorce-rates-double...
You can find plenty of pro porn propaganda out there too. They want to fill the channels with, at least, uncertainty.
But use your own brain and human experience. Do many women you know celebrate porn use by their husbands/boyfriends? That it doesn't bother them at all?
I don't need a study to tell me a hot stove burns.
It effects your relationship even if you successfully keep it hidden. You can't hide the effects, particularly how you objectify the women about you. It's so common lots of people think this is normal. It's not normal, it's not good, and it causes unhappiness in a woman that wants to be really loved. Her. Not her body. Not that image you saw or that video you watched in your mind while you are with her so you can sustain an erection. Just, her.
But you won't be able to give that to her. We men often natter on about the emotional sensitivities or frailties of women when they complain about things we think we are doing right. But there is something missing and she feels it. This is squelching the voice that is trying to lead you to do better, be better. To be a source of warmth, love and happiness instead of a cold stone that gets off to equally cold sex objects.
nunez|2 years ago
locustous|2 years ago
sophacles|2 years ago
Citation needed
> A false form of love that seeks easy sexual satisfaction instead of a stable long term committed relationship that's best for kids.
This assumes that everyone must want kids, and the everyone must act only in support of those who have them.
Also going to need some citations for what a true form of love is - that's something that humans have been arguing about for at least as long a writing has been around.
> Porn is a pretty major contributor to divorce and otherwise blowing up relationships. Some women will tolerate it for a time, or try to and even claim to succeed. But it eats at them and contributes greatly to their unhappiness.
Here's a crazy idea: maybe you should consider women as real people. A group of individuals who have their own sets of preferences and opinions.
Going to need a lot of actual data that all women think exactly this way.
Further, I'm going to need some serious explanation why it makes sense to go into a marriage where either one person doesn't express their true opinions of porn watching or the other lies about it. It seems irresponsible to enter into a life-long contract without understanding the terms.
> It's another form of infidelity, which is quite infamous in human society since forever.
Viewing porn is only infidelity if it's secret and against the partner's wishes. Generally the problem isn't the actual action, it's the deceit and breaking of a promise that's hurtful in those situations.
> Numerous literature pieces.
Which ones? show your work - I'm not big on "just trust me bro" from internet strangers, especially ones with such weak arguments.
> It's basically a love receptor inhibitor. The deeper you are in it the harder it will be to really love a woman. A real woman requires TLC, a great deal of it, a porn woman does not. How much energy do you thing goes into a relationship if all male sexual satisfaction is tied solely to it's health?
Love receptors... gonna need some serious citations for that to be anything other than a pathetic attempt at giving a shit opinion credibility by faking sciencey words.
Se also the whole bit above about how you really should accept that women are actually people.
> f you've been in it since youth you probably have never experienced the kind of real love I'm talking about. I know because I was there, myself, for years. I walked a life of porn for many years and it's taken many years to overcome that addiction. Night and day.
I'm glad you found something that brings you satisfaction.
I don't see how that means your weaknesses are mine. Your story is evidence that one can find happiness despite the world allowing others to seek their own path. Why do you need to force your view on everyone else - the law doesn't force you to watch porn, you have a choice - why do you need to make other's choices for them? I get it - you were weak and made bad (to you) choices - that really suggests you shouldn't be making choices for anyone else, you aren't great at it (the evidence presented suggests you have a 50% success rate at choosing things wisely).
smolder|2 years ago
I think it's worth noting they didn't actually advocate for taking away the choice to view porn in their post. They just described perceived harms.