My favorite adaptation of this was called Real Men Don't Play GURPS. An excerpt:
~~~
The easiest way to tell a Real Man from the rest of the roleplaying crowd is by the game he plays. Real Men play Dungeons and Dragons. Quiche Eaters play GURPS and Storyteller. Mark Rein·Hagen, the designer of Storyteller, was once asked, "How do you pronounce the dot in your name?" He replied, "It's unpronounceable, and symbolises how meaningless are the labels that we attach to ourselves." One can tell immediately from this comment that Mark Rein·Hagen is a Quiche Eater. Real Men don't need the abstract concepts introduced by Quiche-Eating games — like characterisation, immersiveness or realism — to get their jobs done. They are perfectly happy with a sword, a spellbook, and a beer.
Real Men use swords to kill monsters.
Real Men use swords to tame the wilderness.
Real Men use swords to negotiate peace treaties.
Real Men use swords to romance the opposite sex.
If you can't do it with a sword, do it with a fireball. If you can't do it with a fireball, it isn't worth doing.
~~~
This last line is perhaps one of the greatest ever uttered. sniff
(For those too young to remember... It's scary that if Marty from Back To The Future were to go back in time today, he would go back 30 years to 1982, instead of 1955 - http://i.imgur.com/VkHdj.jpg )
I'm reminded of an old P.J. Plauger "Books for Our Times" column, presumably for an April issue, with such titles as "Strictured Programming" and "Algorithms - Data Structures = Assembly Language".
I have written one FORTRAN program in my entire life, back in 1991 when my first job included supporting a PRIME minicomputer. When we got a Solaris server later that year the terminal I used was only line oriented so I couldn't use vi and learned ed instead. I only started learning vi properly a few years ago. Old habits die really hard.
One of the scientific staff ran environmental simulations written in FORTRAN that took a week to run. When he ported it to SunOS it speeded up massively, so he just dialed up the detail level of the simulation so it still took a week. As of a few years ago they still used that simulation, and may still do so. I don't know how long it takes to run now though.
I, being one of the precise brats with trash-80s mentioned, bumped into it in 84-86 era. Fortran and pascal were, to me, options to basic and all three were somewhat ok, perfectly understandable and no use whatsoever since they were much to slow to do anything remotely cool on our tiny boxes. In high school four years down the line, I bumped into it again, trying to rewrite old fortran code in C and bumping into stuff written in pascal off and on, sometimes being pressured to write in Pascal. Again, we (true to our bratty nature) had no concept of what all the old timers were bickering about - unless you used C or assembler to get close to the metal, who cares? Write in Modula2, Perl, Basic, Lisp, ML, Smurf.. whatever. Once you're not using what the machine uses, pick your poison - it's of little concern to us, though sure, we'll write in it and read it it you'd like. Took another decade before I saw that there was some actual merit to debating what language to use since it influences the style quite a lot, but I still think it's perhaps given a little more credit than it is due.
I think one of the commenters below lost the tone of the article. It's tongue in cheek. Back in the day (before my day), things were damn hard with barely adequate tools. Some of the accomplishments with these tools were truly amazing, but it takes a serious masochist to want to use such tools for all future jobs. Be grateful that you can build on the work of others.
For a more balanced comment about higher level tools, almost contemporary, see Fred Brooks comments in Mythical Man Month about using higher level languages (e.g. - APL, back in his day): one must look at what it does, and not just the cost of using it, before dismissing it out of hand.
Fortran ignoramus here... is this true?: "...Fortran doesn't have a structured IF, REPEAT ... UNTIL, or CASE statement..." How the heck did anyone loop until a condition was met?
None of his issues (except the purely cosmetic complaints) apply to Turbo Pascal, which has been the de-facto standard dialect of Pascal for nearly 3 decades.
[+] [-] drostie|14 years ago|reply
~~~
The easiest way to tell a Real Man from the rest of the roleplaying crowd is by the game he plays. Real Men play Dungeons and Dragons. Quiche Eaters play GURPS and Storyteller. Mark Rein·Hagen, the designer of Storyteller, was once asked, "How do you pronounce the dot in your name?" He replied, "It's unpronounceable, and symbolises how meaningless are the labels that we attach to ourselves." One can tell immediately from this comment that Mark Rein·Hagen is a Quiche Eater. Real Men don't need the abstract concepts introduced by Quiche-Eating games — like characterisation, immersiveness or realism — to get their jobs done. They are perfectly happy with a sword, a spellbook, and a beer.
If you can't do it with a sword, do it with a fireball. If you can't do it with a fireball, it isn't worth doing.~~~
This last line is perhaps one of the greatest ever uttered. sniff
full text: http://www.zipworld.com.au/~hong/dnd/realmen.htm
[+] [-] RockyMcNuts|14 years ago|reply
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Men_Dont_Eat_Quiche
(For those too young to remember... It's scary that if Marty from Back To The Future were to go back in time today, he would go back 30 years to 1982, instead of 1955 - http://i.imgur.com/VkHdj.jpg )
[+] [-] cafard|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wglb|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] robododo|14 years ago|reply
"Everyone working at LucasFilm is a Real Programmer. (It would be crazy to turn down the money of fifty million Star Trek fans.)"
[+] [-] itmag|14 years ago|reply
Rails-bros and node-ninjas: got quiche? :)
[+] [-] blindhippo|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] NDizzle|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] simonh|14 years ago|reply
One of the scientific staff ran environmental simulations written in FORTRAN that took a week to run. When he ported it to SunOS it speeded up massively, so he just dialed up the detail level of the simulation so it still took a week. As of a few years ago they still used that simulation, and may still do so. I don't know how long it takes to run now though.
[+] [-] LarrySDonald|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Roboprog|14 years ago|reply
For a more balanced comment about higher level tools, almost contemporary, see Fred Brooks comments in Mythical Man Month about using higher level languages (e.g. - APL, back in his day): one must look at what it does, and not just the cost of using it, before dismissing it out of hand.
[+] [-] toddsundsted|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dguaraglia|14 years ago|reply
"Bah! Real programmers ship good, properly reusable code"
[+] [-] drKarl|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] amirf|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jheimark|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] barrkel|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wazoox|14 years ago|reply
http://foldoc.org/The+Story+of+Mel
[+] [-] wglb|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] psykotic|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] perfunctory|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mjwalshe|14 years ago|reply
Fortran is still in use for technical programming when you realy realy need to get the most performance out of simulations.
[+] [-] unknown|14 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] PaulHoule|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] radishroar|14 years ago|reply
[+] [-] michaelochurch|14 years ago|reply
Real Men roll d20 and take what they get. If the DM will allow negative ability scores, d30-5.
[+] [-] Alind|14 years ago|reply