What I believe OP was getting at is that while he’s being an asshole he’s completely tormented by his own mind not allowing him empathy or understanding beyond his suffering. Since he, like so many with bipolar disorder (myself included) is that the cycle of suffering and abhorrent behavior will continue until he can accept that his brain will not let him out of torment long enough to see how his infliction is broadcast outward and who it really effects. Now combine that with the world’s biggest microphone being used by a man with enough means that it will be dumb luck for him to realize it as he has no consequences for his actions. It’s not impossible to make that realization on your own and it’s even harder to make it stick without medication to make your brain break out of a cycle that you have no more control over than anyone else, and it’s your own mind doing it to you.
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