That emotionally, it won't crush me to find out my company decided I was in the 20% that wasn't needed anymore. That financially, my family can get by if I spend 11 weeks unemployed. That I can accept a job that pays significantly less than I used to make.
I really did think that the entire experience was going to leave me the empty shell of my former self, that the mental toll would leave me severely depressed, and that my world would be shattered. None of that happened. I had a great summer.
My exciting discovery is that I no longer define myself purely in terms of my career.
What an eye opening experience! Getting laid off can feel like an emotional rollercoaster and it's great that you were not only able to ride that wave but also, as you mentioned, reprioritize your life in such a way that you no longer tie your identity strictly to your career. I too recently, in the last year or so, come to the same terms; as a millenial, I'm now finding activities outside of "work" (behind the keyboard) enjoyable and guiding some of my long term goals.
Related: that it won't get you kicked out of the country (in Germany). It's a common fear for immigrants, and it turns out that it's unfounded. You get a few months to find something else.
I'm a new parent this year and I was not mentally prepared for it (lol is anyone?)
For a few months, I regretted my decision to have kids almost constantly. It gnawed on me. Then I stumbled upon the regretfulparents subreddit. Seeing the posts was pitiful. I saw how destructive it is to our psyches to carry around regret and let it wear us down. I cringed seeing the posts, mostly because I felt the same way they did, and man it does not look pretty. I do not want to be like the people on that subreddit. It almost disgusted me
I remember when I was younger I always said I don't regret anything I do. I seem to have forgotten that mantra, so I picked it back up
I no longer regret being a parent. I still don't enjoy it the majority of the time. But it is what it is. There's no point of drowning myself in my own mental garbage when life is trying to drown me already.
So what I (re)learned is not to live with regret, and sometimes shared suffering can remind me that it's really not that bad and I don't need to force suffering on myself for no reason
Around the 6 months mark is when the baby starts reacting to you. Smiling, copying you, trying to eat food. To me it was a big motivator because in the previous months it's hard to see any meaning in all the effort that I pour out, because the baby was completely useless.
From then on it's less and less useless over time, and they do things like playing and learning to walk. Many of these things don't make it easier for me. Some may even make it harder, but just a little bit. Not having to wake up every few hours is the big release though. So over time, it's less work and more satisfaction, which to me is an ongoing motivator.
Another big jump for me was when we start going to a child care, at around the 12 months mark. It's a huge relief. My wife and I have time to try and resume "normal" life. The baby learns more things at school and sees more people. It costs quite a bit but we don't talk about it :)
I'm hopeful it will be less and less work, but I have already made peace with the fact that I will never be back to "normal". We will probably stress about the baby until we die. The good thing is, the sense of progress and satisfaction seems to scale very well, while the work is mostly flat. Surprisingly my wife and I are already talking about the next baby, because the work would still be mostly flat and the sense of progress / satisfaction would be doubled.
My daughter is 2 now so I'm a little "ahead" of you. Hope this little bit of personal experience helps. Using an old throwaway for privacy reasons.
Thanks for sharing. First off, I think it's normal to experience the feelings of regret when first having a child. Those first few months (maybe even years) can actually feel worse: less (sometimes no) sleep, less freedom (for other activities), less intimacy.
The list goes on and on.
But, as you recognized, focusing on the negatives can be self reinforcing.
At the same time, being a parent (for me) fills me up in ways I've never experienced before. A joy ... love ... that got lost in childhood.
And raising a child is not (again, for me) something I can/want to pull off on my own, with only my wife and I. It really does take a whole village and I'm no longer sold on the nuclear (American) family — just mom and dad – raising children.
Anyways, sending you lots of vibes from one parent to another.
Parent of 4, here. I think you just need to change your POV: when you think of it, it doesn't make any sense to choose to have kids...less free time, less sleep, more expenses, more commitments and the list goes on. But then think of how many things we choose to do which don't make sense, but we still do because we want to.
Having kids will give you a whole new perspective about life, IMHO, about love (mostly, there's no other way you can feel that kind of love), about learning to say NO just because you start valuing your time more, maybe even taking more care of your health, because you want to be there, you want to be in good shape and having the energy they need.
When feeling negative sentiments/resentment popping up, think this: it wasn't their's decision to be born, it was yours, so they are not guilty of X. Having kids is an egoist decision we make as parents, but then a lot of parents blame their kids for this or that. Not their fault, not anyone's fault really. It is what it is, as with most things in life.
Just take care of your sleep, of the relationship with your partner (this is huge! otherwise the family will crumble as will your relationship) and enjoy the ride with an open mind. Savour the little things, for as much as it is trite rhetoric, they will soon be gone, replaced by different ones, but you'll have only one first smile, one first word, one first step, etc, for each kid, and those you want to cherish. It's a choice we have to make with everything in our lives: complain about everything going wrong/missing, or simply living and enjoying what you have in the moment.
It will be a lot of work, but more fun than you could ever imagine. Good luck!
Is it because life's difficulties are generally amplified with kids? I've never truly regretted having kids, but I had my first one when I was barely making more than minimum wage and somewhat in debt. Hell we didn't even have health insurance, so we couldn't go to the hospital and had to opt for an at-home birth. All of the stress that life was pushing on me was magnified 100x when that baby came. At the end of the day I would I sleep snuggling next to my child though and all the pain would kind of wash away. That alone made parenting worth it somehow.
Honestly my kids are the only thing that keep me alive. I have a persistent deep hatred for the world - almost always have - and I've contemplated suicide many times in my life, but my children keep me going. I will be here as long as they are. There is nothing more soothing than seeing them smile. The rare times that I get a chance to just sit still, I find myself observing all the small things they do and appreciating their innocence in it. Almost everything we interact with in the modern world is fake, but the one thing that is truly genuine is the love between parent and child; especially in their youth.
> when I was younger I always said I don't regret anything I do
A better angle is: Don't act in such a way that you'll regret it.
That advice doesn't tackle dealing with things you regret.
But neither does "I regret nothing!" -- it is not instructive as to what is good, or how to process events, it just gives a free pass to any behavior. Only young people and Edith Piaf say this.
Make sure you video record yourself playing peek-a-boo... I have a recording, and all this time later, it still makes me irrationally happy every time I watch it.
I also noticed, because I took a ton of photos, that Sproutlet had at least 5 different faces while growing up... it's fascinating.
Not an achievement at all considering we are on HN, but earlier this year I made my first website. It’s just a little personal site that’s hosted on GitHub pages. It’s a skill I’ll definitely utilize again in the future so I’m quite happy about it :).
I'm in the same boat, at its heart it's very simple HTML and CSS, but I've never done anything like it before and figuring it all out has been surprisingly fun!
If it happens to be a blog, the other month there was a post here asking users to share their blogs[1], and shortly after someone popped up with a blog roll[2] you can submit it to!
> * How to feel my emotions and not suppress them or push them away. And why that matters in everyday life.
Yes!! This is huge. Feeling emotions is so critical and a fundamental skill learned in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). And if I can add to that, NAMING the emotion itself levels one up too. As you mentioned, somatically feeling (e.g. "my heart is racing faster than it normally does", "I am starting to sweat", "my throat is constricting") goes a long way and if you can accurately identify the emotion (e.g. fear, anxiety, anger) then you are on the path to mastering emotional regulation.
That I in fact, DO have ADHD, and that's at least part of the reason I failed so miserably in high school, couldn't finish college, and struggle to finish tasks at work despite feeling highly motivated.
I see this a lot, but I will go out on a limb to tell you ADHD is not the reason for your failures. You probably already know this, but it feels better to blame it on something you think is beyond your control.
Not as the most exciting thing but some lifehack to reduce daily chore:
I bought electric shaver. I tried decade ago one but didn't enjoy. I always hated chore of shaving - you have to soften your skin, put some foam, make sure your razor is sharp (many time it isn't and you run out of new one), do many runs with razor on your skin, hit razor on the sink so it's not clogged, after shaving clean yourself and razor again and dry yourself and hopefully you don't have any cuts.
With electric razor:
- these days they are small and can be charged with usb-c
- don't require and water or foam (just dry shaving)
- all your face hairs are inside the shaver head and not floating everywhere around your sink
- shaver is magnetic and easy to remove and then just dump down your hairs to sink
- don't have any cuts and don't have to change shaving head (probably one a year or less)
- I bought cheap one (Enchen) with 3 heads for like 20$
If you procrastinate to shave yourself every (second) day give it a try.
I absolutely love tips like these. Sometimes we settle into patterns in life that we just accept, even if they're not ideal. Learn how to do something and we end up doing it that way forever. Then someone reminds you that not only do you not enjoy that pattern, but there's a different and better way to do it!
On that same theme, I've learned the basics of bread making recently, and it's been exciting to me to realize how easily I can make bread that's far better than anything at the grocery store. When I realized that I could 'win' by just using flour, water, and salt, it felt like I had unlocked one of life's cheat codes.
Yes! We discovered this during the pandemic, but usually cut more like classic French fries. Wedges like that recipe are also great. I used to hate making fries, messy and they're always too soggy, but done in the oven they're easy peasy and always great.
I tried making Cream cheese for the first time in the last few weeks. It turned pretty decent (if not a little overwhelming in flavor.) I get a lot of satisfaction out of making these kinds of staple items.
Trivial things: The busy beaver fast growing function, and how turning machines represent "all things computable". Somehow this was an epiphany I never realized... I always thought "x can be represented on a turing machine", and this itself always seemed like "so what." All it really means to me is you can play doom in your _random thing_ thats turing complete. Once I learned about the busy beaver function however, and n state turing machines, I had a massive epiphany that ive been thinking about it backwards. Whats better is to think that some N-State turing machine can represent EVERY POSSIBLE THING THAT CAN BE COMPUTED (!!!). And its like starting at the top of a very large infinitely tall pyramid, with an N(1) state turing machine and all its permutations of computation, and then N(2) and onwards. In this case, all the answers of the universe (or at least within the computational realm) exist within some N state turing machine in this pyramid.
That I'm a slow and careful thinker who needs peaceful days and a slow life. Little things like looking at the sky, drinking coffee, writing in my journal, taking analog photos, these bring me a sense of self and calmness that I need in order to process life properly, and I shouldn't try to be anything else in order to fit in.
I recently learned about the (Linux) sockets. Wrote two simple "echo client" and "echo server". Then monitored the traffic over Wireshark and witness the 3 way TCP handshake.
Then make the server to use "selectors" and learned a bit more about the names I have been hearing for a while: 'select', 'poll', 'epoll'.
This is when things start to "click" for me.
Nothing astounding but these little things got me excited!
Learned how far I can push myself physically and mentally in my first Ultra Cycling event (2400km).
Not sure I'll do another one, but it was a good experience and at at an age where performance will start decreasing from here. I need to do a write-up.
That stacking stimulants is the wrong approach...instead stack weak stimulants along with herb MAO inhibitors to optimize output.
My bias is that I have ADHD with anxiety mixed in. Best way to describe is that if one takes Adderall one gets a push pull effect where you are in focus robot mode whereas with this approach its a focus mode with whole environment awareness without the uncomfortable push pull effects.
I also believe I may have some form of ADHD, and I find this self-optimization idea where people start taking drugs to optimize their productivity a bit dangerous. Keep in mind that productivity for your job isn't everything that makes you yourself. I know quite a few people who took ADHD medication and became super good at their job at the cost of everything fun including their personal life. Sometimes it might also be OK to tell yourself "It's okay I am not as productive as person XYZ, it's not because I am lazy but because I have ADHD".
Building circuits. I'm still at the stage of merely soldering things together over I2C/SPI/UART, but it's tons of fun. My current project is designing a keyboard from scratch - I plan to have a central 'hub' with an LCD connected to N auxiliary devices: two to start (a split keyboard). I plan to add a macropad and a rotary encoder later on.
I discovered Electric Clojure and built a few toy apps with it. Turns out unifying frontend and backend code simplifies web app development greatly! Exciting to me because it drastically lowers my activation energy for building new projects.
Likely trite, but: I learned that I'm continuously learning far more than I realize— but that if I don't log what I learn somehow (journal, notes, essays), I'm left with a far fainter sense of accumulation & a far weaker understanding overall.
Practically, I learned how to fully clean stainless steel pans (boil vinegar after cooking; baking soda scrub if really filthy).
I can run generative AI (text and images) on my measly laptop. It's not the fastest thing I've ever seen, but it's a lot of fun. Desperately hoping for a "Stable Diffusion for audio" that you can run locally in the near future.
Mechanical keypad locks dont require you to input the code in a certain order. If the code is 0451 you can unlock it with 1054 or any other combination of those numbers. It's not exciting exciting, but it's oddly novel to show off.
I can't say that I "learned Lisp" this year, but I took my first tentative steps in Lisp. It has been eye opening for sure and I'm excited to learn more.
Excitement for me is measured on a scale of how fast I go from "wtf is this" to "omg think of the possibilities" and given that I was working as a very shell-heavy cloud admin for the first half of this year this quite handily topped the list for me.
I started searching for pasta recipes in Italian and it worked fantastically, feels like learning the things that will become a trend in english youtube videos 3 years from now. I feel like I've learned so many useful techniques and ideas that I can just improvise really really high quality pastas whenever I want now. It's fantastic.
I learned that people often take offense to questions, especially “why” questions.
I don't have the attribution but love this quote:
“A good question doesn’t give advice, check hypotheses, impose a perspective, share an opinion, make a suggestion or leave the other person feeling judged or cornered.”
Large corps don't care about you. I’ve realized that going above and beyond by putting in 10 times the effort doesn’t always earn the recognition one might expect; it can even lead to unforeseen challenges.
My family started implementing a “poor week” or as my wife prefers a “free week” where we pick 1 week a month that we don’t spend any money. This has greatly reduced our overall spending.
I learned that air frying is the most efficient, and clean way to cook a steak. It doesn't smoke up the house(the smoke is also harmful), cooks fast, and tastes delicious.
Make some food with my tiny oven.
Before this year, I just only use the tiny oven to heat frzen food. But now I realize cured meat with common seasoning are very easy and it taste good.
I’ve discovered that spreadsheets with checklists are more effective for personal and recurring tasks than any to-do list app I’ve tried – plus, you control the data.
That there's actually reasonable arguments for biking without a helmet[1]. That bicycling is way more fun than walking or running. Even slow casual bicycling around a local area. Even on an old low cost bike.
I used to have to force myself to go jogging; walking for exercise is so so so boring even with podcasts/audiobooks. Now I positively want to go out biking most days. I had a mountain bike ~15 years ago and all the clip-on shoes and helmet and drove to hills and cycled off-road and it was huge effort and work, and I never enjoyed it as much as my friends did. Now I have a basic heavy squeaky bike and get on it and ride.
I like being able to sprint and coast, instead of sprint and stop while jogging. Being able to zig-zag side to side and feel the dynamics of the bike and my balance as it moves. Being able to move faster than walking while putting in less effort than walking. Feeling the wind as if I'm in a car with open windows or no roof (less intensley, but the same kind of pleasant sensation). Riding with no hands on the handlebar, feels like how bikes 'should' be ridden - more like the motions of walking but moving faster. Or maybe I would like one with higher, curved back handlebars for a more relaxed riding position.
[1] don't just stop wearing a helmet in a North American city riding on an 8-lane stroad with highway speed traffic, or a ride on the British A roads alongside traffic. But Dutch people don't normally wear helmets because their city design prioritises keeping bikes and cars separate, and keeping bike routes safe at crossings and junctions, and they aren't riding fast or racing. Most injuries of non-racing urban bicyclists involve motor vehicles, and the idea that an inch of polystyrene will protect you from a Ford F250 doing 60mph should be a head scratcher not a no-brainer. I would link "Why I stopped wearing a bike helmet" by former editor-in-chief of Bicycling, the world’s largest cycling magazine - https://www.cyclingtips.com/2018/11/commentary-why-i-stopped... but it appears to be gone from the site and from the Wayback machine. He also made the point that people say they wear helmets (or make their children wear them) for safety, but then choose helmets based on price and style, rather than safety rating and crash test results, which suggests they don't do it for safety. Also children should wear them.
The reason I'm making a point of "without helmet" is because it reduces the friction of going out and riding, and it reduces the sweaty head, untidy hair, "where do I put my helmet while in the shop" concerns, and having something strapped to your face/head feels bad. Plus nobody hounds the elderly to wear helmets when out walking in case they fall, but if safety was your top concern, you would.
There are a few studies about the probability and severeness of accidents with bikers and helmets. The gist: wearing a helmet will slightly lower the severeness, but will rise slightly the probability. Best overall protection: a blonde, long haired wig.
Edit: of course on streets. Biking down a mountain etc are different.
Does the Dutch authorities think that riding without an helmet is safer for YOU or is it a game of big numbers- more people will ride if there is no helmet requirement which is better and safer for the community as a whole?
mabbo|2 years ago
That emotionally, it won't crush me to find out my company decided I was in the 20% that wasn't needed anymore. That financially, my family can get by if I spend 11 weeks unemployed. That I can accept a job that pays significantly less than I used to make.
I really did think that the entire experience was going to leave me the empty shell of my former self, that the mental toll would leave me severely depressed, and that my world would be shattered. None of that happened. I had a great summer.
My exciting discovery is that I no longer define myself purely in terms of my career.
the_only_law|2 years ago
itsmemattchung|2 years ago
nicbou|2 years ago
RiOuseR|2 years ago
I've been struggling with this. Any tips?
ativzzz|2 years ago
For a few months, I regretted my decision to have kids almost constantly. It gnawed on me. Then I stumbled upon the regretfulparents subreddit. Seeing the posts was pitiful. I saw how destructive it is to our psyches to carry around regret and let it wear us down. I cringed seeing the posts, mostly because I felt the same way they did, and man it does not look pretty. I do not want to be like the people on that subreddit. It almost disgusted me
I remember when I was younger I always said I don't regret anything I do. I seem to have forgotten that mantra, so I picked it back up
I no longer regret being a parent. I still don't enjoy it the majority of the time. But it is what it is. There's no point of drowning myself in my own mental garbage when life is trying to drown me already.
So what I (re)learned is not to live with regret, and sometimes shared suffering can remind me that it's really not that bad and I don't need to force suffering on myself for no reason
Hai2choo|2 years ago
From then on it's less and less useless over time, and they do things like playing and learning to walk. Many of these things don't make it easier for me. Some may even make it harder, but just a little bit. Not having to wake up every few hours is the big release though. So over time, it's less work and more satisfaction, which to me is an ongoing motivator.
Another big jump for me was when we start going to a child care, at around the 12 months mark. It's a huge relief. My wife and I have time to try and resume "normal" life. The baby learns more things at school and sees more people. It costs quite a bit but we don't talk about it :)
I'm hopeful it will be less and less work, but I have already made peace with the fact that I will never be back to "normal". We will probably stress about the baby until we die. The good thing is, the sense of progress and satisfaction seems to scale very well, while the work is mostly flat. Surprisingly my wife and I are already talking about the next baby, because the work would still be mostly flat and the sense of progress / satisfaction would be doubled.
My daughter is 2 now so I'm a little "ahead" of you. Hope this little bit of personal experience helps. Using an old throwaway for privacy reasons.
adamredwoods|2 years ago
itsmemattchung|2 years ago
Thanks for sharing. First off, I think it's normal to experience the feelings of regret when first having a child. Those first few months (maybe even years) can actually feel worse: less (sometimes no) sleep, less freedom (for other activities), less intimacy.
The list goes on and on.
But, as you recognized, focusing on the negatives can be self reinforcing.
At the same time, being a parent (for me) fills me up in ways I've never experienced before. A joy ... love ... that got lost in childhood.
And raising a child is not (again, for me) something I can/want to pull off on my own, with only my wife and I. It really does take a whole village and I'm no longer sold on the nuclear (American) family — just mom and dad – raising children.
Anyways, sending you lots of vibes from one parent to another.
michele|2 years ago
Having kids will give you a whole new perspective about life, IMHO, about love (mostly, there's no other way you can feel that kind of love), about learning to say NO just because you start valuing your time more, maybe even taking more care of your health, because you want to be there, you want to be in good shape and having the energy they need.
When feeling negative sentiments/resentment popping up, think this: it wasn't their's decision to be born, it was yours, so they are not guilty of X. Having kids is an egoist decision we make as parents, but then a lot of parents blame their kids for this or that. Not their fault, not anyone's fault really. It is what it is, as with most things in life.
Just take care of your sleep, of the relationship with your partner (this is huge! otherwise the family will crumble as will your relationship) and enjoy the ride with an open mind. Savour the little things, for as much as it is trite rhetoric, they will soon be gone, replaced by different ones, but you'll have only one first smile, one first word, one first step, etc, for each kid, and those you want to cherish. It's a choice we have to make with everything in our lives: complain about everything going wrong/missing, or simply living and enjoying what you have in the moment.
It will be a lot of work, but more fun than you could ever imagine. Good luck!
leetrout|2 years ago
People that don't agree are either wealthy or full of shit with horrible children IME.
To anyone reading this: It is A-OK to feel what you feel (regret, guilt, fear, etc) its what you do with those feelings that matter.
The first year of parenthood is absolutely miserable with the lack of sleep and quick milestones changing (for the better, usually) the routines.
It. Gets. Better.
But its work and you gotta take care of you. Cant pour from an empty cup, etc etc.
Build a support network and use it.
y-c-o-m-b|2 years ago
Honestly my kids are the only thing that keep me alive. I have a persistent deep hatred for the world - almost always have - and I've contemplated suicide many times in my life, but my children keep me going. I will be here as long as they are. There is nothing more soothing than seeing them smile. The rare times that I get a chance to just sit still, I find myself observing all the small things they do and appreciating their innocence in it. Almost everything we interact with in the modern world is fake, but the one thing that is truly genuine is the love between parent and child; especially in their youth.
sshine|2 years ago
A better angle is: Don't act in such a way that you'll regret it.
That advice doesn't tackle dealing with things you regret.
But neither does "I regret nothing!" -- it is not instructive as to what is good, or how to process events, it just gives a free pass to any behavior. Only young people and Edith Piaf say this.
mikewarot|2 years ago
I also noticed, because I took a ton of photos, that Sproutlet had at least 5 different faces while growing up... it's fascinating.
But...yeah, it's tough in the beginning.
menshiki|2 years ago
OliveMate|2 years ago
If it happens to be a blog, the other month there was a post here asking users to share their blogs[1], and shortly after someone popped up with a blog roll[2] you can submit it to!
[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36575081
[2] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36605493
valbaca|2 years ago
You absolutely hit an achievement. Congratulations!
solarmist|2 years ago
* The power of letting go of perceived control or outcomes and just focusing on what I can do now in the moment.
* How to be open and vulnerable and why it matters for building relationships.
itsmemattchung|2 years ago
Yes!! This is huge. Feeling emotions is so critical and a fundamental skill learned in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). And if I can add to that, NAMING the emotion itself levels one up too. As you mentioned, somatically feeling (e.g. "my heart is racing faster than it normally does", "I am starting to sweat", "my throat is constricting") goes a long way and if you can accurately identify the emotion (e.g. fear, anxiety, anger) then you are on the path to mastering emotional regulation.
_ink_|2 years ago
SteveNuts|2 years ago
Not only that, treatment is working for me.
neontomo|2 years ago
coderKen|2 years ago
alex_lav|2 years ago
pzo|2 years ago
I bought electric shaver. I tried decade ago one but didn't enjoy. I always hated chore of shaving - you have to soften your skin, put some foam, make sure your razor is sharp (many time it isn't and you run out of new one), do many runs with razor on your skin, hit razor on the sink so it's not clogged, after shaving clean yourself and razor again and dry yourself and hopefully you don't have any cuts.
With electric razor:
- these days they are small and can be charged with usb-c
- don't require and water or foam (just dry shaving)
- all your face hairs are inside the shaver head and not floating everywhere around your sink
- shaver is magnetic and easy to remove and then just dump down your hairs to sink
- don't have any cuts and don't have to change shaving head (probably one a year or less)
- I bought cheap one (Enchen) with 3 heads for like 20$
If you procrastinate to shave yourself every (second) day give it a try.
rubicon33|2 years ago
Taikonerd|2 years ago
Easy, customizable, and healthier than regular French fries. I love them!
[0]: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/oven-fries/
kunwon1|2 years ago
CannisterFlux|2 years ago
sircastor|2 years ago
Exuma|2 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmAc1nDizu0
Work things: typescript, nuxt 3, and converting my ENTIRE 10+ year vim config to fancy Neovim with full LSP support.
neontomo|2 years ago
nicbou|2 years ago
yla92|2 years ago
This is when things start to "click" for me.
Nothing astounding but these little things got me excited!
PS: Too excited that I even made a presentation to share with people from work. https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1LAdJ4iK-RJVxuIo61RLU...
ScarZy|2 years ago
Not sure I'll do another one, but it was a good experience and at at an age where performance will start decreasing from here. I need to do a write-up.
qup|2 years ago
Challenge that idea
sshine|2 years ago
fredgrott|2 years ago
My bias is that I have ADHD with anxiety mixed in. Best way to describe is that if one takes Adderall one gets a push pull effect where you are in focus robot mode whereas with this approach its a focus mode with whole environment awareness without the uncomfortable push pull effects.
rubicon33|2 years ago
Could be of benefit for others who have tried adderall but found the robot-mode to be an unideal way to live.
For instance if you love sports or fast reaction video games adderall really hurts performance in those areas.
Sounds like you have a solution and would be interested in hearing more about it. Maybe your most exciting thing learned could be someone else’s!
Gasp0de|2 years ago
zamalek|2 years ago
matricaria|2 years ago
xu3u32|2 years ago
yayitswei|2 years ago
doublerabbit|2 years ago
anavette|2 years ago
Practically, I learned how to fully clean stainless steel pans (boil vinegar after cooking; baking soda scrub if really filthy).
maxk42|2 years ago
elpocko|2 years ago
OliveMate|2 years ago
AdamH12113|2 years ago
neontomo|2 years ago
unknown|2 years ago
[deleted]
Lyngbakr|2 years ago
yayitswei|2 years ago
hiAndrewQuinn|2 years ago
Excitement for me is measured on a scale of how fast I go from "wtf is this" to "omg think of the possibilities" and given that I was working as a very shell-heavy cloud admin for the first half of this year this quite handily topped the list for me.
tracerbulletx|2 years ago
ScarZy|2 years ago
I'm still arguing with my extending family about the amount of salt in the pasta water... baby steps
zs234465234165|2 years ago
I don't have the attribution but love this quote: “A good question doesn’t give advice, check hypotheses, impose a perspective, share an opinion, make a suggestion or leave the other person feeling judged or cornered.”
zs234465234165|2 years ago
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PaulHoule|2 years ago
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unknown|2 years ago
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yitongovo|2 years ago
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huijzer|2 years ago
zs234465234165|2 years ago
Learned: Asynchronous daily chat updates are just as effective as stand-ups
zs234465234165|2 years ago
mattbgates|2 years ago
jlarocco|2 years ago
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nathants|2 years ago
it feels amazing to be able to spend time inside the program as it develops.
jodrellblank|2 years ago
I used to have to force myself to go jogging; walking for exercise is so so so boring even with podcasts/audiobooks. Now I positively want to go out biking most days. I had a mountain bike ~15 years ago and all the clip-on shoes and helmet and drove to hills and cycled off-road and it was huge effort and work, and I never enjoyed it as much as my friends did. Now I have a basic heavy squeaky bike and get on it and ride.
I like being able to sprint and coast, instead of sprint and stop while jogging. Being able to zig-zag side to side and feel the dynamics of the bike and my balance as it moves. Being able to move faster than walking while putting in less effort than walking. Feeling the wind as if I'm in a car with open windows or no roof (less intensley, but the same kind of pleasant sensation). Riding with no hands on the handlebar, feels like how bikes 'should' be ridden - more like the motions of walking but moving faster. Or maybe I would like one with higher, curved back handlebars for a more relaxed riding position.
[1] don't just stop wearing a helmet in a North American city riding on an 8-lane stroad with highway speed traffic, or a ride on the British A roads alongside traffic. But Dutch people don't normally wear helmets because their city design prioritises keeping bikes and cars separate, and keeping bike routes safe at crossings and junctions, and they aren't riding fast or racing. Most injuries of non-racing urban bicyclists involve motor vehicles, and the idea that an inch of polystyrene will protect you from a Ford F250 doing 60mph should be a head scratcher not a no-brainer. I would link "Why I stopped wearing a bike helmet" by former editor-in-chief of Bicycling, the world’s largest cycling magazine - https://www.cyclingtips.com/2018/11/commentary-why-i-stopped... but it appears to be gone from the site and from the Wayback machine. He also made the point that people say they wear helmets (or make their children wear them) for safety, but then choose helmets based on price and style, rather than safety rating and crash test results, which suggests they don't do it for safety. Also children should wear them.
The reason I'm making a point of "without helmet" is because it reduces the friction of going out and riding, and it reduces the sweaty head, untidy hair, "where do I put my helmet while in the shop" concerns, and having something strapped to your face/head feels bad. Plus nobody hounds the elderly to wear helmets when out walking in case they fall, but if safety was your top concern, you would.
mharig|2 years ago
Edit: of course on streets. Biking down a mountain etc are different.
2rsf|2 years ago
unknown|2 years ago
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bayofpigs|2 years ago
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tyronehed|2 years ago
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