[kemo]

IMHO, you're trying too hard to fix the things which aren't broken in the first place. Covering the main flaws in PHP would be sufficient, e.g.

    str = 'foo'.replace('#', '').substr(1).as_array();
    int = 5.something();

would translate to

    $str = 'foo';
    $str = str_replace('#', '', $str);
    $str = substr($str, 1);
    $str = (array) $str;
    
    $int = 5;
    $int = something($int);

This would allow us to do things that aren't native to PHP but still have something much easier. Having strings, integers and other types used as objects (with a solid proxy syntax to the native functions) would be the first (and best) step forward.

Class definitions as well:

    Foo {
        // constants 
        BAR = 'fubar',
        BAR2 = 'foo';
        
        // properties
        protected _bar, _fubar;
    
        // public properties / methods
        public
        bar() {
            return ._bar;
        },
        fubar() {
            return ._bar + ._fubar;
        }
    }