[malauxyeux]

> The implicit definition of "fair" as "equal suffering" is always a bit concerning to me.

For family peace, it may be the best thing. My personal anecdote:

I'm from city A. My spouse is from city B. We lived in city C. Our parents were fine with that.

My mother-in-law developed a rare disease. She had no children nearby. Now we live in city B, close to her.

In city A, despite having two of my siblings nearby, my parents absolutely resented our move. They were quite hostile at some point.

That sent my spouse to therapy and there's been no contact between them since. I'm fully on my spouse's side, especially given what my parents said and did.

But the move has taken a real toll.

[coffeebeqn]

Life gets complicated. We’re in a similar situation - family and friends are mostly in cities A and B (in different countries nonetheless). We lived in a compromise/neutral city C until we needed help with the kids and it’s impossible to choose where to go for the long term.