[coatmatter]

Genuine conversations don't come about through being scheduled for a sit-down interview in a meeting room or lounge room - especially not when notes are being taken or they're being recorded, even if there are drinks and snacks present. Active listening is more than just storming in with a question and waiting quietly for a response before launching the next barrage.

Real conversations only happen when there's a mutual understanding of how others tick and when the most appropriate time there is to raise a likely-uncomfortable topic. I'm not going to generalise about women, but I can say that for many men, examples of such situations might include when they're out fishing, cycling, playing golf, or just doing any other hobby that allows one to be "distracted" most times with silence.

Silence is very awkward in sit-down situations where you're "forced" to converse, but not if there's another activity as the main alibi. It's okay to go out fishing and not catch a fish. It's okay to go fishing and not say a word. But it's also okay to start talking freely once both parties are ready for it at a future mystery time and location.

[JackMorgan]

I don't know anyone who fishes, bikes, or plays golf. I suspect this is the reason many people are critically lonely. There's just no place to be with other people and talk.

Perhaps women are culturally more comfortable going out for coffee or running errands together. For all the men I know that would be super weird.

Shame. We need to find new ways to just be together.

[RugnirViking]

Things that have worked for me:

- Cooking with friends. Doesn't have to be coded female, just ask, if you're all excited about some nice chinese dish or nice cut of beef you got people will vibe with it

- Making music with friends. It takes a really long time, we almost never finish any recordings, and end up just chatting

- Playing dnd with friends (and sitting around drinking afterwards)

- generally, drinking

- card games. We don't bet, but im sure that would work too

- camping/hiking

- watching football/cricket/long sports together

[giantg2]

Who has the time? We're all grinding to make money. Occasionally I play some online games with friends, but you'd be surprised how many times some of them can't make it because they're working OT to cover child support.

[klowner]

Yep, kinda drives home the point of how important "third spaces" are for mental health.