[pseudoramble]

A tangential question then - what do you think or suggest is a good way to reduce that fear on the part of the parent? It kind of sounds like a long term project, as in through most of their lives prior to these teenage years. It seems like a great point you've got and I'm wondering if there's much directly that can be done to improve the situation.

[dmvdoug]

You know, I honestly don’t know. In all the situations I’ve dealt with that involved getting kids into counseling or stuff like that, the parent(s) have been extremely supportive of the kids. It’s like it took going through it once for the kids to realize they don’t have to be afraid of being honest about serious stuff with their parent(s).

On the other hand, I do have kids who are gay who will not, under any circumstances, come out to their parent(s) because of the parent’s homophobia. And I see the damage it does to kids who have and who live with people who basically hate them. So that sort of thing is a tough nut to crack. Maybe it’s just because of my substantive views on sexual orientation, but it strikes me as doing it completely wrong if you hate your own kid because of it.

I guess it also matters that I deal with 9th graders, so they are just in that stage where they’re discovering themselves as people independent of their parents, and they’re afraid of being rejected or punished for things because they haven’t experienced dealing with Serious Life Issues in relation to their parent(s) yet.