This made my day. Bursted out laughing while waiting in line in an immigration office.
Many years ago, I interviewed somewhere where the HR manager gave me hell. It was a roller coaster emotions. She would say something funny, I would laugh and then she'd take note seriously. Out of the blue, she would ask about my childhood, then switch to why do I look stressed. I had 6 technical interviews before her that went well. I had just lost a family member, talking with her was a nail in my coffin. I was surprised when they called me back.
Two years at the job, a deranged guy accosted us at lunch with my team. He made everyone feel uncomfortable before leaving. Turns out, this was the guy I had replaced. After he was hired he turned into a lunatic who would threaten anyone who questioned his code. The stress test HR made me go through was designed to filter these people out.
I'd like to believe I'm not a psycho since I passed the test, but I don't think it did what it was designed to do. Two of my coworkers are now convicted murderers. One of them with a famous televised trial that just ended last month.
Seems like a lot of us have worked with that "deranged guy." We had a guy who would _mostly_ keep to himself, do his programming job, eat lunch by himself, but then, every so often, he'd come up to you by the water cooler and just say something random and moderately disturbing, like "You know, I sleep with a gun under the pillow and a bullet in the chamber" and then just turn around and walk out of the break room. He would also stand in your cubicle doorway blocking your exit, and talk at length about his background in the military and intelligence agencies, and keen interest in Russian sensor technology, or some other unhinged topic--for hours or until you forcibly walked under his arm to leave. He was eventually fired for taking something too far (it wasn't disclosed to the rest of the office). He had to be escorted out by security while he yelled that he was going to come back to the office with one of his AK-47s and mow it down. We had a cop stationed outside the office for a few weeks after that just in case. Fun times!
Many years ago I had a job interview that included a personality test. I didn’t take the job, for other reasons. But I always wondered what had gone wrong in the past such that a personality test for engineers was in order. I’m now glad to know. I also wonder how many problematic malcontents I would have found had I gone to work there.
> She would say something funny, I would laugh and then she'd take note seriously.
In 1st and 2nd grade my teacher used to designate a student to watch other students whenever he needs to step outside the classroom. He always picked this one student who had an annoying bestie that would tap someone's shoulder or would call their name, and if they turned around they got reported.
This was brilliant and hilarious (thank you OP for sharing).
I'm now going to do the thing that I think you're not supposed to do which is analyze the joke (rather than just appreciate it). My wife has been working hard at writing short stories and I've been observing the learning process and reading a lot of McSweeny's. Comedy writing is a true skill (like Comedy itself) -- and I think this piece really nails it. Comedy is about the unexpected -- leading a reader down a path and then changing directions in a way that provokes laughter, not confusion.
The first brilliant line: "The second time I bit you, I think I was just hungry." The title and opening paragraph imply and lead the reader into thinking that this was a joke about a single bite (which itself is absurd). When that line hits, the absurdity is amped up.
In fact that whole paragraph escalates and escalates the absurdity: "I hadn’t had any breakfast that morning" to "Okay. Full, full disclosure: I’d had a small breakfast" to "The sad irony is that my briefcase was full of leftover sausages from breakfast."
Anyway, I won't droll on here. A great piece and worth digesting if you have any interest in comedy writing :)
> Comedy is about the unexpected -- leading a reader down a path and then changing directions in a way that provokes laughter, not confusion.
Yup. My favorite line was "Frankly, I think this all goes back to my childhood, when I would constantly bite people for no reason."
It just leaves the reader in midair. The started reading that sentence expecting an origin story of sorts, but the "origin" of this behavior is just some more history of unexplained biting.
I tend to agree with your analysis, but would like to add that the rest of the biting kind of ruins the joke for me as it goes too far in that single direction. Ending after the second bite (or a very short third) with a few unrelated jokes like the lack of skills in Excel macros would have made the piece better in my opinion.
I'm going to start biting my keyboard if I get one more formulaic rejection without anyone telling me why they rejected me. It's infuriating. I've got years of experience and the right tech stack, but all the applications are going in the trash!
In my case, HR tells me that I'm not allowed to tell applicants why they were rejected. Nothing personal, but my job is more important to me that someone's feelings.
The best way I got better at interviewing is being on the other side of the table trying to fill a professional position.
The number of resumes you get that just are not a good fit is crazy. The tech stack doesn’t match, the experience is totally different, etc. and then the ones that DO get an interview have wildly different experience because they embellish their resume.
If you ever do get a handful of candidates that are all actually good matches, it usually comes down to price and likability. If you’re asking for too high of a salary, it’s not impossible but it is a tough sell if there really are equal candidates. Even if you are a good match it is entirely possible that a team simply liked someone else’s personality and culture fit more.
Personally, I hate this too. I once spent over 20 hours interviewing and testing with a popular personal financial tool. Out of over 500 applicants I was one of the final 3. Even that wasn't enough to merit anything beyond a templatized rejection letter, and radio silence when I asked for any information.
Professionally, I still hate it, but to some degree I understand it. Forgetting even the matter of additional business spent personalizing rejections, the truth is that most of the time the rejection will be taken personally, feelings will be hurt, and any feedback given won't be actionable anyway.
"Sorry, you look good on paper, but your solution to the challenge you was buggy, and you misunderstood the requirements. Go become a better developer."
"Sorry, your code was good, but you struggled to convey information to us. It appears you're a terrible communicator and that would cause problems on our team. Maybe some books on the topic would help, but I doubt it."
"Sorry, you aren't a good fit for our culture. You're abrasive and rude, and talked to the interviewer like you knew better than them. Quit being a narcissistic jerk."
If you're talking about being rejected at the application stage, IME it probably means you didn't follow the instructions completely, you don't actually meet the requirements (remember, it's probably HR or someone non-technical doing the first stage of rejections; they're just driving by checklist, so simple things sometimes get triggered here; if the requirements say "5 years JavaScript experience" and you list "5 years React experience" that might not make it through their filter), or your resume/application needs revising.
I'm not affiliated with them, but it seems like paying for a one time consultation/mock interview through https://interviewing.io/ might help uncover something useful.
It does suck that you have to pay to hear the "other side" i.e. a sort of "Honesty as a Service"...
Also, for what it's worth, feel free to reach out (email in profile). I haven't interviewed millions of people, but maybe I can help. And it's always more fun to commiserate with someone.
Wow, is that a local/US thing? Having worked for the majority of my career in the UK (and now in Central Europe) I didn't experience many rejections after an interview, but these few I did have I was always told why.
Unless you mean, they don't tell you why, when they don't even invite you for an interview. That I found very common, but I think it can be a number of things. From stuff that is completely irrelevant to your suitability as a candidate (they already found someone, but they are unsure that person is going to cut it - it's in their interest to not respond and keep you in suspense for a bit, if the other person quits after a week, they might get back to you), or they currently have approval for one new employee, but they're hoping to get another job approved any day..., there are also recruiters and middle men that just want to build up their candidate DBs. I see lots of the same ads from such companies. Then there are all the "we have a great project paying $5xTheUsual, immediate start", but when you talk to them you find you have to help them win that business first... Such companies profit from just having lots of cvs on file to be able to tell a potential customer: we have 20 people with that skill you need.
So, unfortunately not getting a reason for rejection prior to an interview stage is pretty normal.
I once got told why over a phone call, and I suspect that's because in California, recording the phone call without consent is not legal. So it would not be allowed as evidence.
I once asked for a feedback, was told that they won't give any. Filed a GDPR request and got all of their e-mails and internal tickets about me and my application. Funnily, they printed this data, scanned to PDF and sent the PDF via e-mail.
I used to get mad because I was taking it personally. However, over time, it's become abundantly clear that I'm either overqualified and the interviewers are just not that great or there's a major shortcoming in the interview process. It's sad that it happens so often, but for some reason like many things in the world the interview process is optimizing for the wrong things.
are they calling you? many companies have an automatic filter for CVs(one person won't read 200+ CV's), I was in the same boat till I used a CV parser, it digest your CV so programs can read it perfectly.
This reminds me of a "preemptive interview thank you email" I saw years ago. It was intended to be sent from the interviewer to the interviewee and was along the lines of:
"Thank you for interviewing with us. We are aware that you feel you are an excellent fit for the position and can see yourself having a long career with BigCo. Further, we understand that you thoroughly enjoyed meeting our team and were very impressed with the hiring manager. Lastly, we would like to acknowledge the time we took from our busy schedules in our management positions, and note that your addition to the team would surely help make us all more productive and ease some of our current demands in our daily roles."
Years ago me and my colleague got tired with all the people we were interviewing for a dev position and started interviewing the ones with the most insane CVs ("I follow Yeardly Smith everywhere she goes in the world", "Greatest achievement: I once drove 30 miles for KFC" etc).
One guy said he was a "black belt Ninjitsu." We had him in.
He started talking about his dev skills and I put a quick stop to that. "Tell me about the ninja shit."
"Oh, yeah, I'm a black belt. I can even make myself invisible."
Me and my colleague: O_O "Show me!"
"Right now?"
"Yes! Right now!"
"Well, I can't right now as you know I'm here."
"OK, go out of the room and then come back in invisible!"
"Well, it don't work like that. Like, basically I can walk straight through a crowded party and nobody will even see me."
Methinks there are other reasons nobody is looking at Comic Book Guy-looking man creeping through a party in a ninja outfit....
My take: It’s just classic satire employing exaggeration to highlight the absurdities of common experiences where people feel the need to justify the non-interview parts of their job interview.
I often get profuse written apologies for minor mistakes, such as using the wrong name, which I never care to remember and never factors into decisions because I understand interviewee nerves. Here, the comedy arises from the stark contrast: while minor slip-ups are forgettable and need no apology, a bite surely isn't, making it humorously memorable.
Mike Edling? It's the kind of article I'd expect to have a joke name, but other than "Mike" possibly referring to Tyson I can't think of anything. Searching "Mike Edling," "mikedling," and "Edling bite" didn't help, unless it's a Twilight reference. I think anything with "ed bite" will get you Twilight results.
I think this goes a step too far to be believable.
Of course I can buy that you'd bite someone out of stress, and maybe a second time because you're hungry. At this point clearly the next step is building rapport through humour, and biting the interviewer is the logical step since that's what you have in common at this stage. And yeah I could get that the interviewer is agitated at this point, disregards your own character and preferences, and this triggers you.
But clearly you'd call. Or go in person. Or even write a card. Not send an email.
Once on a Data engineering interview I was explaining some diagrams and data flows when my nose decided to bleed, a lot.
The blood started to run over my white shirt, while I was still trying to explain why we were moving data from one database to another on a whiteboard, with one hand trying to stop the bleeding.
I interviewed a drunk alcoholic dev once. Kept falling off his chair during the interview. We rejected him so he doctored his CV and applied via a different recruitment agency again. Got rejected again. Didn't bite me, but was close to getting physically violent. Had to call security.
That was a nice text. Very amusing. I've been thinking about start writing again, in English this time. You see, I've been writing since i was a teenager but always in my mother tongue. How do you distribute your content? RSS or people just go to your blog to read it? I was thinking nobody nowadays would go to a specific website just to read some text; they seem to want everything in a central place like a social network or even a RSS reader.
Please don't bite me for asking all those questions.
[+] [-] firefoxd|2 years ago|reply
Many years ago, I interviewed somewhere where the HR manager gave me hell. It was a roller coaster emotions. She would say something funny, I would laugh and then she'd take note seriously. Out of the blue, she would ask about my childhood, then switch to why do I look stressed. I had 6 technical interviews before her that went well. I had just lost a family member, talking with her was a nail in my coffin. I was surprised when they called me back.
Two years at the job, a deranged guy accosted us at lunch with my team. He made everyone feel uncomfortable before leaving. Turns out, this was the guy I had replaced. After he was hired he turned into a lunatic who would threaten anyone who questioned his code. The stress test HR made me go through was designed to filter these people out.
I'd like to believe I'm not a psycho since I passed the test, but I don't think it did what it was designed to do. Two of my coworkers are now convicted murderers. One of them with a famous televised trial that just ended last month.
[+] [-] ryandrake|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tibbetts|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sjducb|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] peteradio|2 years ago|reply
Wut. Does that include the guy you replaced? Any more details here?
[+] [-] 93po|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] otikik|2 years ago|reply
Ex-coworkers, I presume.
[+] [-] Bilal_io|2 years ago|reply
In 1st and 2nd grade my teacher used to designate a student to watch other students whenever he needs to step outside the classroom. He always picked this one student who had an annoying bestie that would tap someone's shoulder or would call their name, and if they turned around they got reported.
Your story reminded me of this.
[+] [-] froggertoaster|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] nlh|2 years ago|reply
I'm now going to do the thing that I think you're not supposed to do which is analyze the joke (rather than just appreciate it). My wife has been working hard at writing short stories and I've been observing the learning process and reading a lot of McSweeny's. Comedy writing is a true skill (like Comedy itself) -- and I think this piece really nails it. Comedy is about the unexpected -- leading a reader down a path and then changing directions in a way that provokes laughter, not confusion.
The first brilliant line: "The second time I bit you, I think I was just hungry." The title and opening paragraph imply and lead the reader into thinking that this was a joke about a single bite (which itself is absurd). When that line hits, the absurdity is amped up.
In fact that whole paragraph escalates and escalates the absurdity: "I hadn’t had any breakfast that morning" to "Okay. Full, full disclosure: I’d had a small breakfast" to "The sad irony is that my briefcase was full of leftover sausages from breakfast."
Anyway, I won't droll on here. A great piece and worth digesting if you have any interest in comedy writing :)
[+] [-] function_seven|2 years ago|reply
Yup. My favorite line was "Frankly, I think this all goes back to my childhood, when I would constantly bite people for no reason."
It just leaves the reader in midair. The started reading that sentence expecting an origin story of sorts, but the "origin" of this behavior is just some more history of unexplained biting.
[+] [-] karmakurtisaani|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sdwr|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throwawaaarrgh|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] stronglikedan|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] SamuelAdams|2 years ago|reply
The number of resumes you get that just are not a good fit is crazy. The tech stack doesn’t match, the experience is totally different, etc. and then the ones that DO get an interview have wildly different experience because they embellish their resume.
If you ever do get a handful of candidates that are all actually good matches, it usually comes down to price and likability. If you’re asking for too high of a salary, it’s not impossible but it is a tough sell if there really are equal candidates. Even if you are a good match it is entirely possible that a team simply liked someone else’s personality and culture fit more.
[+] [-] cooperadymas|2 years ago|reply
Professionally, I still hate it, but to some degree I understand it. Forgetting even the matter of additional business spent personalizing rejections, the truth is that most of the time the rejection will be taken personally, feelings will be hurt, and any feedback given won't be actionable anyway.
"Sorry, you look good on paper, but your solution to the challenge you was buggy, and you misunderstood the requirements. Go become a better developer."
"Sorry, your code was good, but you struggled to convey information to us. It appears you're a terrible communicator and that would cause problems on our team. Maybe some books on the topic would help, but I doubt it."
"Sorry, you aren't a good fit for our culture. You're abrasive and rude, and talked to the interviewer like you knew better than them. Quit being a narcissistic jerk."
If you're talking about being rejected at the application stage, IME it probably means you didn't follow the instructions completely, you don't actually meet the requirements (remember, it's probably HR or someone non-technical doing the first stage of rejections; they're just driving by checklist, so simple things sometimes get triggered here; if the requirements say "5 years JavaScript experience" and you list "5 years React experience" that might not make it through their filter), or your resume/application needs revising.
[+] [-] gregsadetsky|2 years ago|reply
It does suck that you have to pay to hear the "other side" i.e. a sort of "Honesty as a Service"...
Also, for what it's worth, feel free to reach out (email in profile). I haven't interviewed millions of people, but maybe I can help. And it's always more fun to commiserate with someone.
[+] [-] Roark66|2 years ago|reply
Unless you mean, they don't tell you why, when they don't even invite you for an interview. That I found very common, but I think it can be a number of things. From stuff that is completely irrelevant to your suitability as a candidate (they already found someone, but they are unsure that person is going to cut it - it's in their interest to not respond and keep you in suspense for a bit, if the other person quits after a week, they might get back to you), or they currently have approval for one new employee, but they're hoping to get another job approved any day..., there are also recruiters and middle men that just want to build up their candidate DBs. I see lots of the same ads from such companies. Then there are all the "we have a great project paying $5xTheUsual, immediate start", but when you talk to them you find you have to help them win that business first... Such companies profit from just having lots of cvs on file to be able to tell a potential customer: we have 20 people with that skill you need.
So, unfortunately not getting a reason for rejection prior to an interview stage is pretty normal.
[+] [-] BurningFrog|2 years ago|reply
I once got told why over a phone call, and I suspect that's because in California, recording the phone call without consent is not legal. So it would not be allowed as evidence.
Needless to say, I am not a lawyer.
[+] [-] pikrzyszto|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] alexfromapex|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lelima|2 years ago|reply
Then I was having almost 90% of call backs after sending the CV, I used this one https://www.open-resume.com/
[+] [-] brk|2 years ago|reply
"Thank you for interviewing with us. We are aware that you feel you are an excellent fit for the position and can see yourself having a long career with BigCo. Further, we understand that you thoroughly enjoyed meeting our team and were very impressed with the hiring manager. Lastly, we would like to acknowledge the time we took from our busy schedules in our management positions, and note that your addition to the team would surely help make us all more productive and ease some of our current demands in our daily roles."
[+] [-] tempaway43211|2 years ago|reply
Faq: The “Snake Fight” Portion Of Your Thesis Defense
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/faq-the-snake-fight-port...
[+] [-] qingcharles|2 years ago|reply
One guy said he was a "black belt Ninjitsu." We had him in.
He started talking about his dev skills and I put a quick stop to that. "Tell me about the ninja shit."
"Oh, yeah, I'm a black belt. I can even make myself invisible."
Me and my colleague: O_O "Show me!"
"Right now?"
"Yes! Right now!"
"Well, I can't right now as you know I'm here."
"OK, go out of the room and then come back in invisible!"
"Well, it don't work like that. Like, basically I can walk straight through a crowded party and nobody will even see me."
Methinks there are other reasons nobody is looking at Comic Book Guy-looking man creeping through a party in a ninja outfit....
[+] [-] pteraspidomorph|2 years ago|reply
Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein.
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over, and I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming, you know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation.
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
[+] [-] CoastalCoder|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] BoxFour|2 years ago|reply
I often get profuse written apologies for minor mistakes, such as using the wrong name, which I never care to remember and never factors into decisions because I understand interviewee nerves. Here, the comedy arises from the stark contrast: while minor slip-ups are forgettable and need no apology, a bite surely isn't, making it humorously memorable.
[+] [-] miobrien|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sdwr|2 years ago|reply
and then it's funny in a tension-relieving way. The common interview experience is having to remain professional while under stress.
[+] [-] deepserket|2 years ago|reply
1: I’m sorry;
2: I was just hungry, your fingers passed near my mouth;
3: It was a joke;
4: It was your fault;
[+] [-] jaxomlotus|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] boomboomsubban|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tempaway43211|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] csours|2 years ago|reply
LinkedIn
Mike Edling - LinkedIn = Meg
LinkedIn - Mike Edling = n
Something something sets = Megn
[+] [-] droobles|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] charles_f|2 years ago|reply
Of course I can buy that you'd bite someone out of stress, and maybe a second time because you're hungry. At this point clearly the next step is building rapport through humour, and biting the interviewer is the logical step since that's what you have in common at this stage. And yeah I could get that the interviewer is agitated at this point, disregards your own character and preferences, and this triggers you.
But clearly you'd call. Or go in person. Or even write a card. Not send an email.
[+] [-] jbajic|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] theandrewbailey|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kuchenbecker|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] yieldcrv|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] x86x87|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] midasuni|2 years ago|reply
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2005/mar/24/broadcasting.b...
[+] [-] lelima|2 years ago|reply
The blood started to run over my white shirt, while I was still trying to explain why we were moving data from one database to another on a whiteboard, with one hand trying to stop the bleeding.
I got the job.
[+] [-] surfingdino|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] burnished|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jeffrallen|2 years ago|reply
[+] [-] atum47|2 years ago|reply
Please don't bite me for asking all those questions.
[+] [-] cb321|2 years ago|reply