I have this problem and in my case it started before I moved to United States. I went to same school when I was a kid until age of 12. Then I went to a private high school in a different town where studied for 5 years and it felt like I made a lot of friends there. After that I went to college in a different country and studied there for 6 years where I also made a ton of friends. Then in my mid twenties I moved to United States and initially it felt like I had made a lot of friends during my first few years in the States but pretty much nobody from my college or high school years were in touch with me by then. After I got married, it felt like I lost most of my friends that I had made. Being married was very lonely and I got divorced and moved to another state. I worked at different places and had normal relationships with people but after I switch jobs I noticed that nobody stays in touch. I'm getting closer to my 40s and I am thinking a lot about this problem that apparently I have but I can't point out what am I doing wrong. I am not rude to anyone and don't have bad habits or other negative things that are obvious to me but I do wonder what is the cause of this.
meowfly|2 years ago
It's much easier to lose friends then gain them. So as people marry, have kids, move, keeping the close allyship becomes more difficult.
The kinds of activities most US 30+ adults are open to are relatively small and easily prone to be disrupted. For example, I might invite someone to watch a basketball game, but it will take a fairly long time for that kind of contact to blossom into a strong friendship. Moving just resets everything.
Also consider I would never call up a coworker I might have known for years and invite to something more personal, like a ski vacation. If I was in college, I wouldn't think twice about doing that with someone I didn't even know that well.
JohnBrookz|2 years ago