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neovive | 2 years ago

> “As we continue to execute on our FY24 plan, we need to also evolve how we work and what we prioritize so we can deliver on the key initiatives we’ve identified that will have an outsized impact in achieving our business goals,” LinkedIn executives Mohak Shroff and Tomer Cohen wrote in the memo.

Is this standard business communication lingo for layoffs?

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JeremyNT|2 years ago

Complaining about this stuff every time it comes up feels kind of tired, but at some point why do they even bother stating anything at all? I wonder if these execs could just use some internal biz-speak chatbot to generate this nonsense.

smsm42|2 years ago

Well, they ran whatever calculations they run, and it came out that they need to reduce spending. They decided the best way is to lay off people. It's not like there's a special story each time - it's pretty much always the same story. It sucks for people affected, but there's nothing new or different about it, from time to time.

bilekas|2 years ago

This is one of the worst examples of 'biz-speak' I've ever come across adding insult to injury for those 700 workers being let go.

paxys|2 years ago

Such memos aren't written for people who were fired but the people who are left. Basically "you're lucky to be here, now get to work on reaching your goals."

smsm42|2 years ago

Would it feel better if they hired a talented writer to write an heartfelt eulogy about how the loss of every single one of these 700 people makes their heart bleed tears of eternal sadness? Nobody would believe it. Everybody knows what it is about - they decided they have X people employed, and they want to have X-700 people employed. That's the beginning and the end of it. If you work for a small company, you will have personal relationship with decision makers, but in a corp where there are several zeroes in staff counts, that doesn't happen. So I don't think there's a point of being insulted about it - it's always going to be "we need less workers, and today it means less you".

onlyrealcuzzo|2 years ago

This seems like corp-speak 101.

You aren't doing layoffs.

You're adjusting to a new market to maximize current opportunities.

You have to always look at the bright side.

rubberband|2 years ago

I would have liked it if they worked in "synergistic" and "paradigm" tbh. /s

happytiger|2 years ago

It’s difficult to get that rich blow hard into that few sentences. I mean it takes a LOT of effort to get that much meaningless drivel into some kind of coherency that can be supported if you read it real slow. So… I’d say this is more top 10% of standard blowhard layoff notices. Definitely more blowhard than the standard stuff. This took honest blowhard talent.

Shroff and Cohen definitely deserve like a blowhard gold star for that. Rarely do you see such voluminous perniciousness that so effectively masks the real world consequences of ending peoples gainful employment. Real skill. Take notes.

A4ET8a8uTh0|2 years ago

Short answer is: in memos, yes. You will note that in the interviews, also depending on audience, the executives may be a little less corporate:

"We don't have room for bystanders, we don't have room for people who want to stand on the sidelines,"[1]

[1]https://finance.yahoo.com/news/citigroup-outlines-layoff-pro...

gv83|2 years ago

But they won’t change me to another team because some Spotify model and long lived team bullshit and I’m forced in the sidelines

HumblyTossed|2 years ago

Translation: We suck at running and leading a company so we are going to prioritize showing investors we can still return dollars to them this quarter by letting go of some peons.

FlyingSnake|2 years ago

ChatGPT would have shown more empathy than this bland statement.

mrweasel|2 years ago

Is that language actually useful to anyone? Don't you always need to evolve and prioritize, or is that a brand new concept to LinkedIn?

adharmad|2 years ago

It gets proportionally easier to say such things with a straight face as the size of the exec's golden parachute increases.