[stonewhite]

My motto is "Follow the Dread". If I dread public speaking I should do it, if I dread setting up IPsec VPNs I should do more of it, if I dread working with money and run a business as opposed to working solely as a technical person I should do it, so on and so forth.

"The Dread" is a good north star for discovering what to improve next, since most Dreads are somewhat common/shared among peers, communities and colleagues. Being able to do something nobody likes to do is a good edge against the world.

[reactordev]

This aligns with my motto of “10% beyond comfort” where you push yourself out of your comfort zone 10% (or more) and learn. You get the dread. You get the “I’m not qualified” vibe. You get the experience. Next time won’t be nearly as bad and a few times more and you’ll be comfortable. A dozen more and you might become an expert. You may actually find you love it.

To the articles point though is that you can be offended and feel anxiety and dread without having to completely shut down the entire discussion. This being in your 10% beyond comfort zone, this is where you - in your offended state - should actually be the most open to learning. Why did they say that? Why do they think that way? Is there reasoning or is it impulsive? How to I articulate an argument for my side when they behave this way?

This is how adults handle being offended during a discussion. You can even voice that you are offended by the remarks. What you don’t have is carte blanche to sling assaults and prevent freedom of speech.

[rubslopes]

A personal anecdote: I don't like public speaking, but I do it frequently to large audiences. I became much better at it and I feel much less uncomfortable now than before.

...But the dread is still there. I still regret it every time I have to do it. It's just less stressful now.

[gardenhedge]

That would/could lead to a poor life experience. Play to your strengths is my motto.