[agent409]

She always has drama around her because she has some kind of rockstar vibe, she's hyper, and she has what seems like a limitless supply of enthusiasm and good will. I've seen plenty of people like that get shit all over just because they're happy when other people aren't. It doesn't mean she deserves a stalker. Just sayin'.

By comparison I'm a relative nobody, but this same person who stalks Rachel has also stalked me off and on for about a decade because I once told him "no" when he asked me to do something for him I didn't feel comfortable doing. All it takes to trigger stalker-dude is to make him feel slighted in some way.

[ErrantX]

It takes two to tango.

That is harsh, but it is a lesson I learned from my stalker.

No one deserves to be stalked, and the people that do the stalking and weird and disturbing and evil. But I caused a significant portion of the problem in my drama.

Recognising that is a critical step to making them go away.

Which is possible.

[agent409]

Of course you are mostly correct and I've expressed this same sentiment to Rachel several times. She understands it, but she doesn't "get" it yet. She's a great target because she does that stress panic thing some people whenever this guy starts messing with her. I'm sure everyone here recognizes that as a maturity/self-control thing, but it comes easier for some than others. Especially in people who have dealt with traumas it can be difficult to stave off an amygdala's hijacking and not freak out.

On the other hand, this guy really does go out of his way to harass people on his list. He still randomly mails shit-o-grams from throw-away yahoo or gmail accounts to my old email accounts. I just learned to ignore him and forward the lulz back to the abuse department of his provider.

Unfortunately Rachel, when faced with this guy on Kickstarter, thought she needed to tell her supporters what was going on. Kickstarter interpreted that as if she was responding directly to the "spammer" and turned their back.

What you say about her learning to not let him under her skin really is a critical step in making him go away. If the squeeky toy stops squeeking, it's no longer fun.