[naremu]

It turns out reality is slightly more complicated than raw game theory, which is basically just what you described.

To be honest, it sounds like you might be internally cynical and externally giving, and exhausted seeing the results.

Most of us quite frankly weren't raised to optimize our own social networks, but over time I've realized it's not that difficult to create a mutual understanding from which everyone can better respect/build themselves and each other up. (e.g. this favor you asked requires a lot more of me than it saves for you, therefore, it's an impolite ask and it's a no)

Frankly though most people don't think that far ahead. Without "training" or manners, the common man is generally prone to his selfishness. It's never been a secret or a revelation, but people enjoy their extremisms.

[Aloha]

'giving people what they want' is not zero sum, nor is it uniform.

While I don't agree with the parent commenter, his message can be understood in multiple ways.

Look at me and my partners - I have lots of executive function, but little empathy, my wife has lots of empathy, but not as much executive function. She provides me an emotional sink when I need one, and I provide here stability and planning - we're both giving and taking from each other freely, but those are things we each have in excess. For our other partner we both provide him a level of support that he's on the right path, and a place to vent excess feelings (which she can take because of her empathy, and I can take because of my lack of empathy).

If I look thru my social network, I can see similar pairings - people give me things that I lack, and I give them the things I have in excess. People who end up being net takers, don't end up sticking around long (they make themselves unwelcome), and net givers end up burning themselves out - you need to keep things in balance.