[existencebox]

As another hybrid "TLM->EM" with a similarly sized team, over a similarly sized product, I definitely feel many of the same pain points you call out.

BUT. And I say this with all respect, since I broadly find a lot of value in your comments: I strongly disagree to your assertion that remote "is less efficient."

My theory to what is happening is that there are existing methodologies people are used to working in, including 'hacks' to build consensus that were developed in an in-person environment. (Namely, pulling a bunch of people into a room and arguing it out.) My perspective is that remote work makes a bunch of things that are just as critical in-person (shared documentation, good communication channels, trust and rapport, etc etc) non-optional, and your previous hacks far less effective. But I don't see this as a bad thing. If anything, it's like a strongly typed language: It forces you into a more effective pathway. (For instance, imagine how remote folks or even folks-just-not-around-at-the-moment felt in not being able to participate evenly in the "in-person-bash-it-out" sessions or hallway chats without a strong culture of proliferating knowledge and documentation?)

While you may reasonably say "Ok, that's fine, people built up methodologies, why flip it on its head and disrupt a status quo that works" to which I'd emphasize the "we were relying on suboptimal ways to build consensus, and it was a local maxima." I would also propose that I believe a good manager _HAS_ to change their methodologies in some ways more disruptively than just the local/remote shift when dealing with certain styles of employee, (their own) manager, and org+busines structure/process/incentives, and as such, this should just be part and parcel with the constant process of adapting to refine your own methods and style.

(As an aside, I was tempted to make this comment on your upstream comment[0] talking about "maybe I'm not actually succeeding, it feels like winning at a fucked up system" since I definitely feel you there. I got into management in large part out of a "I'm frustrated by how management is often done and how it ends up percolating down to ICs, and I want to put my money where my mouth is that there's a better approach", and while I definitely feel like I've succeeded in some respects, and continue to get "rewarded" as you say, I'm intimately aware that I'm likely still screwing things up/finding the optimal way to balance pathological incentives, and still have a ton to learn. In short, I'd not be surprised if both of us are "doing fine but still have blind spots," so please take my above just as one person's opinions/"attempt to draw the elephant" :) )

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38984369