[dcw303]

My theory is that people who like math have a reward system that responds well to gaining an understanding on empirical concepts. I have that, and it does drive me to keep studying math. Not that I find it easy though, I don't think I'm able to skip steps, and I often have to repeat things I've already done before they sink in. The difference is that I find this process enjoyable, so I don't mind spending the time.

If I can compare to another activity, I've always wanted to be an artist as well, and have spend quite a bit of time trying to build up the skills. The problem is that, if I'm honest with myself, is I just don't enjoy the process of creative expression, it doesn't trigger any reward system that means anything for me. I wish it did but there's just nothing there. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I realized I like the idea of being an artist, but I don't enjoy the process. Hence my ultimately crummy artwork!

Sorry, I realized I'm talking about myself more than you, but I hope it's some help. The point I hope it makes is that everyone has a different personality, and from that different reward systems. It sounds to me like yours doesn't align with math, and that's fine. I wouldn't try to force yourself to study something which you don't love, at least if it's optional self study. Find subjects that you love learning, and the results will come naturally.

[davorak]

> The difference is that I find this process enjoyable, so I don't mind spending the time.

This is definitely the difference for at least some of the people out there, however...

Imagine however that you do enjoy it at the start so you move on from topic Y to topic Y+1, then to to Y+2. However you find that you no longer understand Y and you need Y when you are doing trying to learn Y+3 so you study Y+3 and Y, now your progress in Y+3 has been slowed down.

Really your goal was to get o Y+7 though that is where you can start breaking new ground and contributing but as you try Y+4 and Y+5 the gains stop and maybe even reverse. You are now on a learning treadmill(perhaps sometimes falling off and having to restart too) redoing Y-1,2,3,4,5 not moving forward. Often it is possible to find a trick/skill/simplification/etc to continue moving forward to get to Y+6,7.

How long would you find the process fun on that treadmill though? I think it is common to not find covering the same ground over and over fun or never being able to make it to the point where you are part of peer group where you can contribute. An understandable result is when those people invest elsewhere, where they see better returns.

[cloogshicer]

I think this is an excellent observation. Interest definitely matters, but so does talent.