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Zach_the_Lizard | 2 years ago

It's difficult to explain, but having children triggers something deep--primitive, even--inside of you that unlocks another level of fulfillment. And self growth, for that matter.

I too have had a rewarding career that has afforded me all kinds of comfort. I've traveled extensively, even living in a foreign country. I've met interesting people and done interesting things.

But there's something special about hearing your child say "dada" or "mama" for the first time.

Notice, though, I said "fulfillment" and not "happiness"; I find the lows are lower and the highs are higher.

I wouldn't call you "selfish" or "materialistic."

I would say that parenting requires sacrifices--time, most of all--and can cultivate a kind of de facto anti-materialism depending on the parenting style.

There's a reflection on the past where you think of yourself as less selfish now, since you are now locked into doing more for others. Never before did you have to suck snot out of the nose of a completely helpless being, clean human waste, or endure having your beard roughly tugged on because it got a giggle.

The childless thus can _feel_ "selfish" to parents since they typically don't do as much for others as parents do for their children / wives / husbands / etc.

But that doesn't make it so.

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