Would you have dated her at all if she had been honest about how miserable she is up front? If her inherent personality is just miserable, then how else is she supposed to navigate through life?
You work on yourself first, then date. That's for her to figure out. No one owes miserable people a chance. I'm not sure why you're suggesting lying is acceptable just so she can date. Weird opinion.
Perhaps we could call it putting your best self forward to make a good first impression? The advice I've often seen is to treat a date like a job interview - is full honesty expected there? In fact, in a romantic context, is full honesty ever appropriate? If you said something like, we're probably both around 7 on the attractiveness scale, make similar incomes, aren't getting any younger, and probably can't do much better; let's settle for each other - how would that sort of honesty play?
And when to stop working on yourself and start dating? Which metric to fulfill? Unfortunately there are people that are predisposed to certain difficult personality traits. Personality heritability is about 50%. So working on it is a limited affair. Nobody is perfect, and dating is about finding someone who is comfortable with your imperfections and your with theirs. Nobody owes me anything more than basic human rights and dignity. And what I expect I try to give to others.
bongodongobob|2 years ago
hotpotamus|2 years ago
funnym0nk3y|2 years ago