Nice piece. I broadly agree with many of the overall points (I think) although putting them into practice maybe be harder than the writer makes it out to be. One can certainly just avoid nitpicking over stuff like spelling (unless you're editing pre-publication) and likewise when seeing a talk just let it go.
In regards to "softening", eg:
>"Hey, you got your math on example X wrong... I think it actually works to 11.7. Anyways, I only recognize that because I made that mistake dozens of times myself, it's a common one to make, just wanted to point it out."
Stuff like that always reads as condescending to me. Not just a waste of time, but an expense of time which actually hurts ones cause. I suspect my feelings are neither unique nor universal, and that delivering respectful and constructive criticism involves knowing your audience. So it's always going to be difficult if you try to do so to a stranger.
Your feelings are definitely not unique. There’s a big thread in the article comments with a number of people expressing a similar view.
I think you’re right that the whole thing is difficult. There are certainly people who take offense at the constructive criticism being offered with no “softener”, and there are obviously others that take offense as the “softener” being added.
Perhaps the ultimate takeaway is what you stated:
> delivering respectful and constructive criticism involves knowing your audience.
I agree -- I find such "padded" criticism condescending as well. It feels as if the commenter thinks I am not capable of emotionally handling basic factual feedback. Or (in the "wizen"/"wisen") example, not capable of understanding why spelling is important or of looking up meanings myself in a dictionary.
I do not take offense, because I know the commenter means well and is erring on the side of kindness, but personally I'd rather see "s/wizen/wisen/". It communicates no offense (by being low-effort on the part of the commenter), and respects both my ability to research on my own why I made this particular mistake, and my own motivation to correct the mistake.
DonsDiscountGas|2 years ago
In regards to "softening", eg:
>"Hey, you got your math on example X wrong... I think it actually works to 11.7. Anyways, I only recognize that because I made that mistake dozens of times myself, it's a common one to make, just wanted to point it out."
Stuff like that always reads as condescending to me. Not just a waste of time, but an expense of time which actually hurts ones cause. I suspect my feelings are neither unique nor universal, and that delivering respectful and constructive criticism involves knowing your audience. So it's always going to be difficult if you try to do so to a stranger.
proamdev123|2 years ago
> delivering respectful and constructive criticism involves knowing your audience.
colanderman|2 years ago
I do not take offense, because I know the commenter means well and is erring on the side of kindness, but personally I'd rather see "s/wizen/wisen/". It communicates no offense (by being low-effort on the part of the commenter), and respects both my ability to research on my own why I made this particular mistake, and my own motivation to correct the mistake.
Stick to the facts.
jeffreygoesto|2 years ago