[mdekkers]

> I think in Europe no one holds back in the grades, school will push a kid forward.

That is hilariously incorrect.

I had an adverse childhood, my dad died when I was 8, and my mom was literally not around, she was on the other side of the country and not interested. I was in care. I was passed around middle and high schools like a hot potato, nobody wanted me, simply because I was in care. The folks in care told me I was going to do exceptionally well in life, as my IQ tests were incredible - they were the only really structured approach to testing at the time. I ran the computer labs at all the schools I was at (C64 FTW!), because I was known as a “whizz kid” and could be trusted with that, but before ever setting foot in any of those schools I was already “branded” because I was in care. The teachers, all of them bar one, literally didn’t give a fuck. The one that cared, cared deeply. He was the music teacher, steadfastly wore punk t-shirts to class, and taught me drums and percussion. I still think of him often, but music lessons are not enough.

As for the rest of the bastards, my questions and educational needs were ignored, I was told to “just don’t bother” by many. I was great in the computer lab of course, English, and history. I struggled with many other subjects, but was deeply motivated to do well in school - I saw all the _other_ kids in care around me and was absolutely positive that I did not want to end up like that, but as I said I simply was ignored. Not only can I not do math until today, the “European schools (Netherlands, to be precise) experience” traumatised me to an extent where any kind of formal learning causes some kind of brain freeze and I simply cannot. I was relentlessly bullied at and outside of school, until I learned to stand up for myself, at which point it went in a kind of binary fashion directly to outlandish punishments for standing up for myself. Punching back in self defence can, in fact, land you in a straitjacket and in isolation for a week, who knew?! That was also where my deep distrust and rejection of any kind of authority figure or structure comes from.

I never finished school, I emancipated myself from care and dropped out when I was 17, and got the fuck out of the Netherlands. I am, until this day (54 years old now), unable to get a degree as I dropped out and as I am unable to study in a traditional sense. I was homeless and living rough a few months later, and it took me years to fight my way out of that shit. By good fortune and stubbornness I was able to learn and work in stage lighting, and did that for many years. I designed shows, clubs, bars, and ran the lights at too many events to count. I was at the forefront of the (then new up and coming) move away from pure analog lighting and into digital control and moving lights.

I eventually pivoted into IT professionally, again at a time when this was all new for everyone, and managed to build a career. I did well for a very long time and love the work. As a certified Old, I now struggle to get the contracts I need to keep going, companies want young blood and believe that deep skill and experience is overrated, so we will see what the next stage of life will bring.

Nothing special about European schools. They suck just as much as all the others.

[ozim]

Push forward doesn't mean help in some special way.

It means only that they will never let a kid to stay the same level with younger kids, you always move with your peers to next class - even if you won't have any passing grades.

Maybe on high school level they will kick you out but in primary school I don't think they have any real grades even anymore.