[throwaway35777]

There is an excellent old book on the subject, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was lacking in this area and my career improved greatly after reading it.

In general, people are cautious when giving criticism because it carries implications.

Say a manager gives negative feedback to a subordinate. The subordinate now believes the manager doesn't like them. The subordinate follows the standard advice: start looking for another job. Manager now has the larger problem of hiring a replacement.

It's best to reinforce positive behavior. Little trick I learned: compliment people. Find an reason to say "nice work" on every code review. DM people and say "nice presentation", "great design". It works.

[g4zj]

> There is an excellent old book on the subject, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was lacking in this area and my career improved greatly after reading it.

I've read the book, as a matter of fact. :) Although it's been quite a few years, I recall feeling like it was mostly a guide on manipulating people, and it didn't make a great impression on me, personally. I'm glad it was helpful for you, though!

> Say a manager gives negative feedback to a subordinate. The subordinate now believes the manager doesn't like them.

I hear this and think back to what I said in my previous comment about the value of their feedback. There are certainly things a manager could say that would leave me feeling disliked in a personal way, but I can easily separate genuine feedback about my work or my ideas from personal statements.

> It's best to reinforce positive behavior. Little trick I learned: compliment people. Find an reason to say "nice work" on every code review. DM people and say "nice presentation", "great design". It works.

I, too, believe in the value of giving genuine compliments, and I try to make sure I tell people any time I think they are doing good work. A clever solution deserves acknowledgement, for example. I suppose it just doesn't feel genuine when I'm using them to soften the potential blow of constructive criticism.

[throwaway35777]

> I recall feeling like it was mostly a guide on manipulating people, and it didn't make a great impression on me, personally.

Any action will affect other people in some way. What matters is how you choose to utilize that capability.

[camel_gopher]

Don’t DM them, give positive feedback publicly, negative feedback privately.