Does it not get exhausting to swim against the current all the time? Don't you ever wish you could let you go and let your inner little mind take control, if not just for a moment? What you describe as being genuine and authentic and open minded sounds like a cross you have decided you must bear. It's okay. You are not Jesus. You don't have to do this.
logicprog|1 year ago
Because you are correct, making top level posts on a twitter-like social media constantly with this ethos was actually so emotionally exhausting for me it physically affected my health, but the solution to that is just to not do that anymore.
Also, I do this not because I've arbitrarily decided that I've got to bear this cross, as you say, but because it is my default mode of interaction, in fact the only one I know, and it's something I very much like about myself that I always interact in this manner, and I think trying to learn how to be less genuine and less invested and less open, even if just for my online interactions, would sincerely leak out into my character in general in a way I don't like. So I'm not really doing it out of a sense of duty, but essentially out of a sense of convenience, because I don't want to have to go through the effort of learning how to context switch between a mode of interaction for being online and a mode of interaction for being offline.
firstbabylonian|1 year ago