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avensec | 1 year ago

I read this in 2018 and I'm glad to see it posted again. It was one of those posts that made me ask myself a question. I can't remove the absolutism or extremes, so how can I create a filter for when I hear these conversations/people? I have my model, but...

What strategies do people employ here?

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sdwr|1 year ago

These people are claiming emotional territory that doesn't belong to them. Usually, they have precalculated that they can "get away" with it, which means they see you as weak.

Three options:

- Give up, cede the ground, and move on with your life. The less sleep you lose over how unfair it is, the better.

- Confront them head-on. They are ready for a fight, but their position is inherently unreasonable. The less you get dragged into their headspace, the more you "win".

- Come down from above. Bring social proof that they are wrong into their space. In the OP, this would be programmers who mutually respect each other's work, and are productive without nitpicking.

avensec|1 year ago

Thank you for your response and perspective!