[Hayvok]

Married, 4 kids, she’s stay at home mom.

Joint checking, savings, investments, home ownership, cars, everything. I do most of the account management and planning because she hates doing it.

We have no concept of fairness in spending. If she wants something truly expensive we talk about it and how it fits in our budget. I do likewise, but in general we both kinda know what the boundaries are, and there’s zero score keeping. She probably spends 3x on herself compared to me, and I’m fine with it. I know she has the best interests of the family at heart.

Large purchases like cars are the result of weeks of research, discussion, planning, budgeting, etc.

[caeril]

> She probably spends 3x on herself compared to me, and I’m fine with it.

Plenty of people are "fine with it" until the court awards spousal support on the basis of lifestyle acclimation rather than needs.

50% divorce rate, 75% of which is initiated by the wife, and don't require you to have done anything wrong. Effectively, you're playing roulette and you've staked your entire financial future on Red. I really hope it works out for you.